It is said that long ago, in ancient Europe, a legendary alchemist by the name of Franz Greiter dreamed of surpassing even the gods.
To this he set out to lay waste to their presence upon this world, starting with their very divine radiance, the sun.
Many thought the sun to be a benevolent gift of theirs, but our genious alchemist knew better: It was a mockery of mankind, for it looked down upon us all and left its mark in the form of repugnant blisters.
Long and tirelessly did he work to imbibe a great concoction that could fight this monstruous presence, and after years and years of study, he had finally succeeded, and all would know the name:
The sunscreen.