Her Mountain, Her Ocean - Vol. 3 Ch. 57 - Fight

[MangaDex]

 

[kahoshi]

Noooo You Yu! You said the thing that shouldn't be said!

 

[Colorsparks]

I'm not too worried since they have such a healthy relationship but Chi Tang does eventually need to open up about her trauma to You Yu if she plans to remain in her life or else this situation is going to keep happening. It's horrifying to talk about your trauma but if you wanna maintain your relationship platonic or otherwise it's important people know your boundaries.

But like I said they're both shockingly mature for their age and I know this will be resolved. You yu will give her space and Chi Tang will approach her again when she feels better. Sad to witness though.

 

[Ne0_Moon]

"it almost feels like my couple friends are fighting and I'm stuck between them."
I think you legit are stuck between two fighting lesbians.

But anyways, I have faith that Chi Tang is would soon become willing to talk to You Yu about her issue and the problem will be resolved after a positive response from You Yu :]

 

[Tcof]

they problem can be fix by lesbian, literary
She want to be together forever, just could figuring out what the concept is
She don't want to rely on her, can't last her whole life right ? yeah you can actually.
yeah, history have proved that two roommate can be together for life, just ask the historians

 

[nyannibalism]

thanks for the translation!

awww fighting over not focusing on working for herself

 

[himi-cat]

It almost feels like my couple friends are fighting and I'm stuck between them

You Yu is definitely working on that particular couples goal . . .

I'm not too worried since they have such a healthy relationship but Chi Tang does eventually need to open up about her trauma to You Yu if she plans to remain in her life or else this situation is going to keep happening. It's horrifying to talk about your trauma but if you wanna maintain your relationship platonic or otherwise it's important people know your boundaries.

Chi Tang absolutely needs to learn to open up more. Earlier on I'd have said it was mostly a matter of learning to trust people, but there's no way she doesn't trust You Yu pretty much implicitly - at this point, it feels like the point of her habitual privacy/secrecy really is trying to maintain enough of a distance from You Yu for her to feel like she's not being a burden. Which is entirely understandable, of course . . .

Actually, thinking about that a bit more, this is still a matter of trust, just a somewhat different kind of trust, and one that's, frankly, a lot harder to learn for someone in her position . . . She doesn't want to be a burden for the people she cares about, which as I said is totally understandable. However, a relationship where someone provides support and comfort for someone they care about isn't really a thing that should be described as a burden - after all, she's been providing support and comfort for You Yu in various ways since the start of the story, and she hasn't seen that as burdensome since very early on. Chi Tang's problem is that she's not applying the same standard to herself - she can't accept the idea that You Yu would willingly choose to provide her with support and comfort, and that doing so wouldn't be burdensome to her.

Why can't she accept that idea? I see two reasons: first, she doesn't value herself very highly - this isn't really a matter of low self-esteem or bad self-image, it's more that she simply doesn't see herself as having very much intrinsic value as a person. The second reason is that she isn't able to trust You Yu when she says (and strongly implies) that she wants to provide support and comfort, and that it's not burdensome to her.

Chi Tang not valuing herself is kind of a complicated beast. It's not that she thinks she's completely incapable of anything at all - she knows she's reasonably smart, she's got decent musical talents, hell, she's even generally considered really pretty, there are lots of things about her that any reasonable metric would rate highly, and she's aware of all that. She even recognises that she can provide meaningful and valuable support to people around her - that's how her relationship with You Yu started, after all. The problem is, her sense of her own intrinsic value isn't tied to any of those things - it's not grounded in any kind of objective self-assessment (even though she is capable of making fairly objective self-assessments), nor is it grounded in the way that other people see her (even though she can recognise why people see her the way they do). Instead, I think her sense of her own value is mostly grounded in her parents' view of her.

Chi Tang's parents basically fought a war over who could throw her away first - who could throw her away while she was still a child, and who would have to wait until she reached her majority before they could throw her away. The losing side in that war has been taking his frustration out on her for most of her life, and has been trying desperately to find a way to replace her. He's finally succeeded (or thinks he has - I'm guessing that won't end very well for him), and now he's lost even those last vestiges of interest he might have had in her. As for her mother . . . well, the best you can say about her is that she wasn't there actively abusing her own child for years on end.

Chi Tang has internalised all of that. It's not even something she can think about - it's just part of the foundation of her psyche at this point. And that means when she sees people around her saying good things about her, she's primed to either ignore them, or feel bad about it - even feel guilty about it, since she's obviously managed to deceive people into thinking she's actually worth something.

When someone she really cares about (which at this point basically means You Yu) does things that show how much they value her, it's really difficult and challenging for her - she trusts You Yu and cares about her, and doesn't want to hurt her by disbelieving or disregarding her feelings, but accepting You Yu's value judgement is almost impossible for her. It's not even really a matter of trust in the normal sense - trust is a rational thing, her reaction to You Yu's care has nothing rational about it.

For Chi Tang to be able to open up to You Yu about any of this does require trust - she needs to trust that You Yu won't be scared away by all of these horrible things in her life. But before she even gets to that point she needs to accept that she has enough intrinsic value to justify even trying.

It's actually kind of nice (from a certain perspective) seeing this - most of the time when people with low self-esteem or a bad self-image are portrayed in fiction they're portrayed as people who feel that they're just not capable of anything, and in general the "solution" to their problems is some kind of practical demonstration that they are capable. Chi Tang's position is different, and far more difficult to resolve - the problem isn't convincing her that she's capable of something, it's overcoming that deeply ingrained sense that she has no value regardless of what she's capable of.

My feeling is that the most likely path towards resolving this will be for Chi Tang's father to get even more horrible (probably related to his expectations of a son to replace her), and for You Yu to somehow rescue her - not by magically showing Chi Tang that she's worth something, but by basically ignoring her insistence that she's not worth anything, and just persisting in giving her love and support while she deals with the fallout of whatever her father did. Truly accepting that she has value is something that she could spend years working on, but I'll be happy if she can if she can actually get to the point where she's making a start, and where she has the support she needs to keep working on it.

 

[crate90]

These two are by far one of the rarest most communicative yuri couples. They'll be fine.

 

[himi-cat]

they problem can be fix by lesbian, literary
She want to be together forever, just could figuring out what the concept is
She don't want to rely on her, can't last her whole life right ? yeah you can actually.
yeah, history have proved that two roommate can be together for life

You Yu may not have actually realised that what she's feeling is romantic love, but she's getting there; Chi Tang hasn't come anywhere near realising how she feels (though I do think she's feeling something very similar to You Yu, underneath all the other stuff).

I could see them ending up in a semi-platonic BFFs forever kind of relationship, but I really hope You Yu gets to the point of recognising what she's actually feeling, and their relationship is strong enough that she can actually tell Chi Tang how she feels without causing problems.

 

[MacinteuchPlus]

I relate hard with Chi Tang, when someone you love tells you they're gonna work hard for you, you just feel like a burden, and you don't wanna trouble them so you tell them to focus on themselves, because the idea of someone putting in effort for your sake is just so abstract and abhorrent, you're almost secretly hoping to be left behind so you don't have a negative impact on their life

 

[MacinteuchPlus]

You Yu may not have actually realised that what she's feeling is romantic love, but she's getting there; Chi Tang hasn't come anywhere near realising how she feels (though I do think she's feeling something very similar to You Yu, underneath all the other stuff).

I could see them ending up in a semi-platonic BFFs forever kind of relationship, but I really hope You Yu gets to the point of recognising what she's actually feeling, and their relationship is strong enough that she can actually tell Chi Tang how she feels without causing problems.

I think they're both heading towards recognising their feelings slowly but surely

 

[emmadrew]

You Yu is definitely working on that particular couples goal . . .



Chi Tang absolutely needs to learn to open up more. Earlier on I'd have said it was mostly a matter of learning to trust people, but there's no way she doesn't trust You Yu pretty much implicitly - at this point, it feels like the point of her habitual privacy/secrecy really is trying to maintain enough of a distance from You Yu for her to feel like she's not being a burden. Which is entirely understandable, of course . . .

Actually, thinking about that a bit more, this is still a matter of trust, just a somewhat different kind of trust, and one that's, frankly, a lot harder to learn for someone in her position . . . She doesn't want to be a burden for the people she cares about, which as I said is totally understandable. However, a relationship where someone provides support and comfort for someone they care about isn't really a thing that should be described as a burden - after all, she's been providing support and comfort for You Yu in various ways since the start of the story, and she hasn't seen that as burdensome since very early on. Chi Tang's problem is that she's not applying the same standard to herself - she can't accept the idea that You Yu would willingly choose to provide her with support and comfort, and that doing so wouldn't be burdensome to her.

Why can't she accept that idea? I see two reasons: first, she doesn't value herself very highly - this isn't really a matter of low self-esteem or bad self-image, it's more that she simply doesn't see herself as having very much intrinsic value as a person. The second reason is that she isn't able to trust You Yu when she says (and strongly implies) that she wants to provide support and comfort, and that it's not burdensome to her.

Chi Tang not valuing herself is kind of a complicated beast. It's not that she thinks she's completely incapable of anything at all - she knows she's reasonably smart, she's got decent musical talents, hell, she's even generally considered really pretty, there are lots of things about her that any reasonable metric would rate highly, and she's aware of all that. She even recognises that she can provide meaningful and valuable support to people around her - that's how her relationship with You Yu started, after all. The problem is, her sense of her own intrinsic value isn't tied to any of those things - it's not grounded in any kind of objective self-assessment (even though she is capable of making fairly objective self-assessments), nor is it grounded in the way that other people see her (even though she can recognise why people see her the way they do). Instead, I think her sense of her own value is mostly grounded in her parents' view of her.

Chi Tang's parents basically fought a war over who could throw her away first - who could throw her away while she was still a child, and who would have to wait until she reached her majority before they could throw her away. The losing side in that war has been taking his frustration out on her for most of her life, and has been trying desperately to find a way to replace her. He's finally succeeded (or thinks he has - I'm guessing that won't end very well for him), and now he's lost even those last vestiges of interest he might have had in her. As for her mother . . . well, the best you can say about her is that she wasn't there actively abusing her own child for years on end.

Chi Tang has internalised all of that. It's not even something she can think about - it's just part of the foundation of her psyche at this point. And that means when she sees people around her saying good things about her, she's primed to either ignore them, or feel bad about it - even feel guilty about it, since she's obviously managed to deceive people into thinking she's actually worth something.

When someone she really cares about (which at this point basically means You Yu) does things that show how much they value her, it's really difficult and challenging for her - she trusts You Yu and cares about her, and doesn't want to hurt her by disbelieving or disregarding her feelings, but accepting You Yu's value judgement is almost impossible for her. It's not even really a matter of trust in the normal sense - trust is a rational thing, her reaction to You Yu's care has nothing rational about it.

For Chi Tang to be able to open up to You Yu about any of this does require trust - she needs to trust that You Yu won't be scared away by all of these horrible things in her life. But before she even gets to that point she needs to accept that she has enough intrinsic value to justify even trying.

It's actually kind of nice (from a certain perspective) seeing this - most of the time when people with low self-esteem or a bad self-image are portrayed in fiction they're portrayed as people who feel that they're just not capable of anything, and in general the "solution" to their problems is some kind of practical demonstration that they are capable. Chi Tang's position is different, and far more difficult to resolve - the problem isn't convincing her that she's capable of something, it's overcoming that deeply ingrained sense that she has no value regardless of what she's capable of.

My feeling is that the most likely path towards resolving this will be for Chi Tang's father to get even more horrible (probably related to his expectations of a son to replace her), and for You Yu to somehow rescue her - not by magically showing Chi Tang that she's worth something, but by basically ignoring her insistence that she's not worth anything, and just persisting in giving her love and support while she deals with the fallout of whatever her father did. Truly accepting that she has value is something that she could spend years working on, but I'll be happy if she can if she can actually get to the point where she's making a start, and where she has the support she needs to keep working on it.

Shuukura type comment (complementary)

 

[wqytqqmqnyqs]

You Yu is definitely working on that particular couples goal . . .



Chi Tang absolutely needs to learn to open up more. Earlier on I'd have said it was mostly a matter of learning to trust people, but there's no way she doesn't trust You Yu pretty much implicitly - at this point, it feels like the point of her habitual privacy/secrecy really is trying to maintain enough of a distance from You Yu for her to feel like she's not being a burden. Which is entirely understandable, of course . . .

Actually, thinking about that a bit more, this is still a matter of trust, just a somewhat different kind of trust, and one that's, frankly, a lot harder to learn for someone in her position . . . She doesn't want to be a burden for the people she cares about, which as I said is totally understandable. However, a relationship where someone provides support and comfort for someone they care about isn't really a thing that should be described as a burden - after all, she's been providing support and comfort for You Yu in various ways since the start of the story, and she hasn't seen that as burdensome since very early on. Chi Tang's problem is that she's not applying the same standard to herself - she can't accept the idea that You Yu would willingly choose to provide her with support and comfort, and that doing so wouldn't be burdensome to her.

Why can't she accept that idea? I see two reasons: first, she doesn't value herself very highly - this isn't really a matter of low self-esteem or bad self-image, it's more that she simply doesn't see herself as having very much intrinsic value as a person. The second reason is that she isn't able to trust You Yu when she says (and strongly implies) that she wants to provide support and comfort, and that it's not burdensome to her.

Chi Tang not valuing herself is kind of a complicated beast. It's not that she thinks she's completely incapable of anything at all - she knows she's reasonably smart, she's got decent musical talents, hell, she's even generally considered really pretty, there are lots of things about her that any reasonable metric would rate highly, and she's aware of all that. She even recognises that she can provide meaningful and valuable support to people around her - that's how her relationship with You Yu started, after all. The problem is, her sense of her own intrinsic value isn't tied to any of those things - it's not grounded in any kind of objective self-assessment (even though she is capable of making fairly objective self-assessments), nor is it grounded in the way that other people see her (even though she can recognise why people see her the way they do). Instead, I think her sense of her own value is mostly grounded in her parents' view of her.

Chi Tang's parents basically fought a war over who could throw her away first - who could throw her away while she was still a child, and who would have to wait until she reached her majority before they could throw her away. The losing side in that war has been taking his frustration out on her for most of her life, and has been trying desperately to find a way to replace her. He's finally succeeded (or thinks he has - I'm guessing that won't end very well for him), and now he's lost even those last vestiges of interest he might have had in her. As for her mother . . . well, the best you can say about her is that she wasn't there actively abusing her own child for years on end.

Chi Tang has internalised all of that. It's not even something she can think about - it's just part of the foundation of her psyche at this point. And that means when she sees people around her saying good things about her, she's primed to either ignore them, or feel bad about it - even feel guilty about it, since she's obviously managed to deceive people into thinking she's actually worth something.

When someone she really cares about (which at this point basically means You Yu) does things that show how much they value her, it's really difficult and challenging for her - she trusts You Yu and cares about her, and doesn't want to hurt her by disbelieving or disregarding her feelings, but accepting You Yu's value judgement is almost impossible for her. It's not even really a matter of trust in the normal sense - trust is a rational thing, her reaction to You Yu's care has nothing rational about it.

For Chi Tang to be able to open up to You Yu about any of this does require trust - she needs to trust that You Yu won't be scared away by all of these horrible things in her life. But before she even gets to that point she needs to accept that she has enough intrinsic value to justify even trying.

It's actually kind of nice (from a certain perspective) seeing this - most of the time when people with low self-esteem or a bad self-image are portrayed in fiction they're portrayed as people who feel that they're just not capable of anything, and in general the "solution" to their problems is some kind of practical demonstration that they are capable. Chi Tang's position is different, and far more difficult to resolve - the problem isn't convincing her that she's capable of something, it's overcoming that deeply ingrained sense that she has no value regardless of what she's capable of.

My feeling is that the most likely path towards resolving this will be for Chi Tang's father to get even more horrible (probably related to his expectations of a son to replace her), and for You Yu to somehow rescue her - not by magically showing Chi Tang that she's worth something, but by basically ignoring her insistence that she's not worth anything, and just persisting in giving her love and support while she deals with the fallout of whatever her father did. Truly accepting that she has value is something that she could spend years working on, but I'll be happy if she can if she can actually get to the point where she's making a start, and where she has the support she needs to keep working on it.

Summarize

 

[wqytqqmqnyqs]

Giving someone space instead of trying to fix things and asking what's wrong, is goals

 

[recklessribbon]

Thanks for the translations!

So sad I hope they make up soon!