I make an original manga, would you read it?

[RizkyArrydesta]

HI GUYS! I am a Mangaka, trying to publish my own work online.
getting people to read my work is quite hard, even with the help of the social media.
So, I thought why not to put a thread here...
here's some of my work, they're scattered across the net..
but these two are my best..

XENOBEAST : https://medibang.com/book/2t1901090142002910002171637/
xenobeast is a monster training, shounen oneshot manga set in magical fantasy world.
i did this one for a contest..didn't won tho..

CANDALA : https://tapas.io/series/CANDALA
My currently running series, if you like seinen manga, this one should be your cup of tea.
heavily inspired by many seinen manga series like Berserk, Battle Angel Alita, Stravaganza, and Blood and steel.
this manga is on it's early chapter, and I am opening a patreon to support it's production..

SO, let me know what you think! and tell me your favourite genre!

 

[Zephyrus]

@RizkyArrydesta
This is cool to see! If you would like, you can directly upload your work to MangaDex so more people will see it beyond this thread. =)

 

[Plykiya]

@Rizkyarrydesta

Your art, panel arrangement, and bubbles are done quite nicely. That's pretty rare for a non-Japanese artist. The easiest thing that you can improve is your typesetting. Xenobeast has stronger execution than Candala. The cover image for Xenobeast doesn't really do it justice. The design of the beast pets are quite appealing.

It seems like English isn't your first language, maybe it's worth considering having a native speaker go over your script? You should definitely continue, you have the talent for it.
Here's my own attempt at redoing one page with free fonts:

Spoiler

 

[Thoraxe41]

Depends. Is there loli's?

 

[kamishiniyari]

Looks cool

 

[RizkyArrydesta]

@Plykiya yes, I'm from indonesia actually..and all of my english is self taught... Are you saying i should continue Xenobeast? And thank you for reading!!

 

[RizkyArrydesta]

@thoraxe41 there's loli in both of em..well if xenobeast continued there are a loli character, and candala have loli as well 😄

 

[Plykiya]

@RizkyArrydesta Doesn't have to be Xenobeast, I just look forward to you drawing more beasts. Indonesia is the second highest source of traffic for MangaDex, lot of Indonesian people who like manga

Can talk to us on our Discord channel if you need advice or help :>

 

[KatoShuu]

I finished read all of them and here's what I think. (I'm not an expert though lol)

Xenobeast
It's a pretty good oneshot, could make a pretty cool shounen series and explore tons of world building. I haven't read a lot of Indonesia manga, so I don't know if it's better than other Indonesia manga. But I could say it's pretty good Japanese standard (lol, who am I to say that). Really cool action scenes/panels and designs.
I could see people making fan art of this

Spoiler

and porn

Page 10&29: I think page 29 did a better job explaning Ray's backstory than page 10
Ray: His hair looks kind of generic, not saying it's bad, just kind of bored?
Amita: Fits very nicely with the "clumsy & kind" trope. I was hoping too see her trip on nothing lol

Candala
Those are FKING COOL LOOKING A$$ ACTION PANELS!!!! Clean and smooth panel placement. Only 3 chapters, not sure about it yet.

Spoiler

"Buto" as in "Buto Ijo"? If it is, lol

Edit: Currently reading the prequel

 

[Sem]

I read the Xenobeast one and it was really good! It reminds me a lot of Nanaki Nanao's early work. The rendering is a little rough but you have a good sense for form and composition and it's very lively!! Your anatomy is pretty strong! The characters and poses were really appealing!

If I had anything to say, it would be to scale back how much you use screentones and try to keep the hatching consistent in lineweight and follow the form. Though it's not really "manga" style, Albrecht Durer's prints show this off well and you'll see the same principles used in ink drawings from manga to DC/Marvel comics.

Spoiler

Take note of how the hatching curves around the body to show form. I think it's something you can do easily and it'll help clear up your drawings a lot! If you decide to go heavier on screentones though, you can also ditch hatching completely, which is the more efficient option! You actually do accomplish this very well in some pages so forgive me if it was just a matter of time constraints!!
This one is really great because the hatching reinforces a strong light source!!

Spoiler

Where this one is flattened a little from the horizontal shading:

Spoiler

Keeping consistent with the first image would be great!!
For the screentones, try to use more clean hard edges and save the soft blurry edges for specific occasions where a glow would be appropriate. Even a manga heaving on screentones like Shokugeki no Soma sticks mostly to hard edges, so it keeps the pages from looking too muddy which is easy to do when working in monochrome. Keeping an eye on value balances and how light and dark your greys get will help your pages pop out too!

Those two things aside your work looks like it has a lot of potential and I'll keep an eye out for new stuff you'll be making!! Xenobeasts was a lot of fun!

 

[raincoatkiller]

Honestly better than half the stuff I see out there that has a writer/artist/assistants/etc/. Kind of reminds me of that guy that did Rave Master for some reason.

 

[RicHykkie]

Awesome work!

 

[NoSana]

@RizkyArrydesta wkwkwk
great work man. Would love to see Xenobeast more.

 

[RizkyArrydesta]

@Sem @KatoShuu @NoSana @raincoatkiller Thank you for your feed back everyone!!
I'm currently self-publish all of this work and trying to have some support on my patreon https://www.patreon.com/steponestudio

Right now I'm only able to produce around 1 to 2 chapter a month, and a short one too.. Funding,help,and publication is few things that i don't have..so it would be great if you guys could help me by sharing the words around 😊

And also!I have joined mangadex discord! Let's have a chat!

 

[KatoShuu]

@RizkyArrydesta
Better add Xenobeast in your Youtube description lol

 

[whitefang16]

It was pretty good. Looking forward to more work from you!

 

[Johnson]

Wah, mantap cuk. Seperti kata Plykiya tadi kalau yang perlu Diperbaikin cuman grammar doang tapi selebihnya bagus. Intinya, gw bakal baca gimanapun juga.