This translation is bad, like real bad. I don't even know where to begin, weird font, uncentered texts, cropped text, missing text, out of bounds, weird honorifics usage (e.g. kagurasan instead of kagura-san), inconsistent honorifics (ms. when calling the teacher and san when calling kagura). There's zero attempts on cleaning, and also on making anything looked good really.
You should try a bit more before releasing your translations. It's not hard to compare your version to the previous one, find where it's lacking and ask around how to make yours better. I'm simply not a fan of someone buchering a work because of a bad attempt at translation.