Imasara desu ga, Osananajimi wo Suki ni Natte Shimaimashita - Ch. 37 - Confession

[awtystic]

When romcom, shoujo, slice of life mfs get a bit of taste of seinen bss josei manga this is what the rating and comment section would look like💀

 

[story645]

When romcom, shoujo, slice of life mfs get a bit of taste of seinen bss josei manga this is what the rating and comment section would look like💀

Watashi ni AI Wo Sakebasete is basically the parallel universe shoujo version of this manga - not childhood friends but similar story beats and the female leads are very similar to Hikari and Aya (Haz even looks like Aya). It gets nowhere near the controversy, largely b/c the male lead in that one is super open and honest and the author didn't pull a giant tone shift.

 

[Mrson]

Watashi ni AI Wo Sakebasete is basically the parallel universe shoujo version of this manga - not childhood friends but similar story beats and the female leads are very similar to Hikari and Aya (Haz even looks like Aya). It gets nowhere near the controversy, largely b/c the male lead in that one is super open and honest and the author didn't pull a giant tone shift.

Wow, can you imagine if Chapter 9 were the same as this one in the following chapters? I mean, if Hikari runs away and meets a new guy? That would be pretty boring on the author's part.

 

[middle-the-nerd]

I just don't see how his reasons for not being honest with Hikari matter. What matters is that he wasn't honest, and we already know the outcome. Sure, seeing his point of view and the struggles he went through might give us a better perspective on Yuu—some will sympathize with him more, others less—but none of that changes what happened. Intent doesn't erase impact.

No I agree he SHOULD'VE been honest but i'm saying there's definitely explanations that would make it understandable why he didn't and that he was not being inherently malicious- what changes really is HOW shitty it was which can change ALOT, in my opinion both for us as readers and how things could end up playing out

My reading of the situation is different. Hikari is someone who’s honest and straightforward with her feelings—her emotional side consistently overrides her rational side. Just look at the excerpt from chapter 19 of the novel that I posted: it clearly shows that whenever her emotions and reason clash, emotion always wins.

You're completely right and I don't blame her she's having a understandable reaction I'm more so saying it's premature to say that they could never work things out even if that'd potentially take a bit of time and Yuu opening up to her but Yuu having some self reflection on his actions to me is a positive sign that he's willing to take some responsibility to try and make things right between them after this

And honestly her being so heavily controlled by her emotions can also work the otherway imo if Yuu started being much more open about how his struggles with his insecurities and especially, if it's as it seems thar she unintentionally fueled those more in the past unintentionally I could easily see her feeling bad and even a little guilty- to me this is a situation where if he's able able to just buck the fuck up and be completely honest about everything and acknowledge to he did the wrong thing it'd likely go a LONG way

So I don’t think she was anywhere near ignoring what happened so that she could be with Yuu. What was really happening was that her rational side was trying to suppress how she truly felt. She was trying to be logical, but what she was ignoring was her own emotions. But that’s not who she is. Her emotional side always wins out, and once it did, she couldn’t go on pretending everything was okay.

Eeeeeeh here, i'm just gonna have to disagree with personally it definitely came off as her really considering it I don't think your interpretation is inherently incorrect either though

If anything I think what happened was her feelings for him almost being enough to make her try and ignore her simultaneous hurt at his dishonesty which is honestly part of the reason I think she could forgive him and be willing to give him some sort of chance still if he takes responsibility

 

[middle-the-nerd]

We know she did - she tried to set him up w/ other girls. I'm curious if in the flashbacks we see him make overt overtures like inviting Hikari on dates or giving her gifts or the like.

Tbh- I feel like it'd be in character for Hikari to completely misinterpret stuff like that as him just being a nice friend and wanting to spend time with her

I wouldn't be surprised if he for a long time was trying to be way more obvious about how he felt but after a long time of her never seeming interested, being completely oblivious to his hints, trying to set him up with people ect- shit probably did just really erode away at his self-confidence and fuel his insecurities and he stopped trying

 

[middle-the-nerd]

Eh, what's important here is the effort and resiliance - when she fails, she picks herself up and tries again (ETA: is the character growth arc of like 75%+ of shounens). Yuu has yet to tell her that he's done the same, and all the narrative has shown the reader so far is Yuu hiding his effort from Hikari in case he fails and then running off with Aya when he does and then hiding that too.

Yep pretty much and I think it might be setting it up that in reality it was a much more gradual process to how got like this

He probably always had some insecurities yeah but they might've only worsened more and more over time as Hikari remained oblivious and and at time seeming straight up uninterested in him in that way

Guess we're just gonna have to see

 

[story645]

I mean, if Hikari runs away and meets a new guy? That would be pretty boring on the author's part.

Only b/c at this point a good chunk of the readers are probably rooting for the everyone stays single/Hikari drops Aya and Yuu ending & that would tie things into too nice a bow. Granted, I feel like Hikari going on a meet someone else journey could settle her feelings for Yuu in the same way his journey did, but that would drag this story out way too much unless it's done as a like epilogue round up.

He probably always had some insecurities yeah but they might've only worsened more and more over time as Hikari remained oblivious and and at time seeming straight up uninterested in him in that way

Or as she got what felt to him more unreachable - she started off as his saviour and the stronger one and then she got way better grades and was more popular and had all the boys asking her out.

I don't want to end this love game plays with this dynamic a lot - like they're very very openly into each other and yet he still doesn't feel like he's good enough for her. So the climax arc is him putting his all into achieving a goal and in the process gaining confidence.

 

[GennArc]

@mug3n @HellJester @EchoGirl @nogoodsumbeach @story645 @lolfacesayshi @noleafclover75 @wozbond @Rafalga @fflogschampion @awtystic @ComNguoi @Schernobyl @Ochrolv @drakenation @BlackHoxton @Mangamoz @Ninoren @Dark1400 @outinthegardener @eviljackspicer

No manga chapter this week, but the novel chapter has been released. Here's an MTL:

Spoiler: Chapter 38

Chapter 38: It's a Little Late, but About My Childhood Friend...

A Saturday in late September.
A day I would never forget.

Yuu: "I... I've liked you for a long time, Hikari!"

Behind the stage in the gymnasium.
Two of my friends are hiding in the shadows, peeking out and silently freaking out in excitement.
And in front of me, standing stiff as a board, face beet red, my childhood friend struggles to force out his words.

Yuu: "It's true... since middle school... no, since we first became friends."

It was unmistakably my “childhood friend Ta-kun” that I knew.

A boy who was a little unreliable, shy, pure, and kind.
And now, he was squeezing out every last bit of courage he had to say these words to me.
More than the words themselves, it was his attitude that made it so incredibly convincing.

Yuu: "I'm not lying... I’ve never been able to give up."

It was exactly how I had always imagined it, ever since I first started noticing him—
"If Ta-kun ever confessed to me, I bet it would feel just like this."

Hikari: "Since... a long time ago?"
Yuu: "Since a long time ago."

Finally, I managed to find my voice.
But... it still wasn’t my answer to his confession.

Hikari: "Then, then... why did you always act like everything was normal...?"
Yuu:"Well... I was desperately trying to hold it back."
Hikari: "Why did you need to hold it back?"
Yuu:"Because we were close..."

I stood on tiptoe to get closer to his face, pouting as I pressed him for answers.

I mean, this confession was way overdue. Seriously, only now?
And even then, only after everyone else basically set the stage for him? Talk about being a massive chicken!

Yuu: "B-but if I had been all obvious about how much I liked you... and you didn’t feel the same way, the atmosphere would’ve gotten super awkward, right?"
Hikari: "Ugh..."
Yuu: "And then if you stopped coming around to my place... if we started drifting apart... I couldn’t handle that."

Hikari: "Wait, hold on a sec..."

When I was desperately pretending to act normal...
he was doing the exact same thing?

Hikari: "You thought I wasn’t thinking about you at all, Ta-kun?"
Yuu: "I didn’t think it was nothing, but... I wasn’t sure if it was that kind of feeling."
Hikari: "Come on! Ta-kun, seriously, you have no confidence!"
Yuu: "But it’s you, Hikari! Do you really think I'm good enough for you!?"
Hikari: "I do!"
Yuu: "That’s just you being mistaken! No one knows how amazing you are better than I do!"

I feel like a boomerang just keeps smacking me right in the head.
What is with this coward!
It’s so painful, like watching all my own embarrassing behavior from the past six months!

Hikari: "But, but! Lately I’ve been super obvious about how much I liked you, haven’t I?!"
Yuu: "How was I supposed to believe that! You’re naturally way too close to people! You’ve made me think the wrong thing so many times before!"
Hikari: "That's so mean!"

Seriously, Ta-kun...
I basically just confessed to you right now!
Why can’t you realize that!?

Yuu: "That's why I kept being so careful, watching for the right moment..."

You're telling me... you were that serious about confessing?

Yuu: "I wanted to wait until I was 100% sure... and then finally, with everything lined up, I could do it."

You're saying... my feelings mattered that much to you?

Hikari: "...Did you reach 100%?"
Yuu: "I’m not sure, but..."
Hikari: "But?"
Yuu: "But today... today, I just felt like I had to tell you."

Hikari: 'Why did you think it had to be today?'

I desperately held back the words that had been slipping out nonstop until now.

I pressed my lips tightly together, holding everything back.
One second, two seconds, three seconds...

Then, keeping that pressure, I forced the corners of my mouth up into a big smile.

Hikari: "So... that's how it is... huh..."

Still standing on tiptoe, right in front of his face,
I showed him a beaming smile.

Along with all the overwhelming feelings inside me.

Hikari: "I'm really, really happy, Ta-kun."
Yuu: "...!"

Those were the honest words from the bottom of my heart—no lies, no exaggeration.

I was happy. Really, truly happy.

That he had been trapped in the same dilemma as me.
That he had been carrying the same feelings as me.
That he had been hiding the same feelings as me.

And that today, everything finally been resolved.

Hikari: "I love you too... I really, really love you!"
Yuu: "Hikari..."

...Everything?

Hikari: "Maybe... no, I'm sure I realized it after you did..."

No, it’s everything.
Everything has been resolved.

Hikari: "But my feelings now are the same as yours... no, even stronger than yours."
Yuu: "That's not true... I've been in love with you for ten years!"

Honestly, I was supposed to be the one to confess first.
The future I'd been dreaming of for so long was now right here in front of me.
How could I not accept such a wonderful, miraculous accident?

Hikari: "In other words, right now, I love you more than ten times as much as you love me!"
Yuu: "There's no way that's possible..."

Yeah...
I'm sure that "thing earlier" was just a small misunderstanding.

Something tiny.

If I don't say anything, this is a happy ending...

"Heh..."
"Haha..."

So I’ll laugh.
And I’ll accept it.
Accept his feelings.

Hikari: "It doesn’t even matter, really."
Yuu: "Yeah... you're right."
Hikari: "..."

He embraced my pure feelings.

His arms wrapped around my back, holding me close.
So I wrapped my arms around his back too, grasping at the empty air above.

Yuu: "Hikari..."
Hikari: "Yeah..."

He looked deep into my eyes.
And before I could get swallowed up in his gaze, I closed mine.

It’s okay. I won’t ask anymore. I won’t look. I won’t say anything.
Because this is for being together with the person I love more than anything.

A little compromise...
should be acceptable, right?

Hikari: "...!"

Compromise?

Why do I have to compromise...
with Ta-kun?

With the first person I ever loved,
the person I love the most...
why should I ever have to compromise?

Hikari: "———!"
Yuu: "Whoa...!"

A loud crash echoed backstage.
It was because he knocked over some equipment when he fell backward onto his butt.

...No, that's not exactly right.
Because the one who pushed him was...

It was me.

Yuu: "Hi... Hikari...!"

Still sprawled on the ground, he looked up at me.
His gaze, his expression—
they said it all.

...He knew.
He knew why I did it.

Hikari: "I love you, Ta-kun! I really love you!"

Yes, it was a Saturday in late September.
A day I would never forget—
and a day I never wanted to remember.

Hikari: "But! But! I hate liars!"

Shirasaka Hikari, sixteen years old...

I just rejected my childhood friend.
...At this late stage.

...

...

...

...

I see... I knew it.

I did think Hikari was acting a little differently than usual.

She saw it.
She found out about that...

I didn’t lie.
I’ve loved Hikari, for so long, ever since way back.

But still, there’s no denying it—
today, I was the worst.

Takamura Yuu, sixteen years old...

Today, I experienced my fourth heartbreak.
And my third heartbreak with the same girl—Hikari.

Edit: Apparently the chapter was accidentally released and then removed. It must’ve been some kind of automatic release, but "It's a Little Late."

So this confirms that all the delays we are having are because of Yom. They need to hire an assistant for him if he can't do 10-12 pages (mostly without backgrounds) in 2 weeks consistently.
On the bright side, his tweet says that the commercial version is going to be weekly for a while starting from next chapter, so maybe we will have more .5 chapters.

Something else that stood out to me—though I’m not sure if I’m remembering it wrong—is that I recall people saying Hikari would have rejected Yuu if he had confessed to her “back then.” But it turns out that in both the manga and the novel, what she actually says is that she might not have said yes to his confession. That’s a subtle but important difference.

I don't think this really makes any significant difference. In chapter 9 she went

...But then again, that's how it always was between us back then. He really was just like a little brother to me.

All the way through middle school -- no, actually, until just a year ago -- I never saw him as a boy. He was just my pure and simple childhood friend, nothing more.

 

[Mrson]

.

 

[Mrson]

So this confirms that all the delays we are having are because of Yom. They need to hire an assistant for him if he can't do 10-12 pages (mostly without backgrounds) in 2 weeks consistently.
On the good side, his tweet says that the commercial version is going to be weekly for a while starting from next chapter, so maybe we will have more .5 chapters.

The problem is that you don't know the economic situation in which they can afford an assistant, that is, there are people who want to gain experience. The problem would be finding trustworthy and talented people.

 

[middle-the-nerd]

So this confirms that all the delays we are having are because of Yom. They need to hire an assistant for him if he can't do 10-12 pages (mostly without backgrounds) in 2 weeks consistently.
On the good side, his tweet says that the commercial version is going to be weekly for a while starting from next chapter, so maybe we will have more .5 chapters.

I'll give Yom benefit of the doubt and assume something personal got in the way for a little bit- but also 10-12 pages a week isn't that much while i'm not gonna act like art is easy feels like that is pretty small to do personally especially when you're not even a writer as well

I don't think this really makes any significant difference. In chapter 9 she went

Yeah I don't think it really does either saying he was like "a little brother" to her feels a death sentence to his chances back then and if she ever said that to him, it's probably one of the "heartbreaks" that he now mentions

 

[HellJester]

Not defending Yuu but just playing devil's advocate. I haven't read all of the novelization parts so please correct me if I'm wrong.

At any point, did Yuu find out that Yami was held back and was in the same grade as Hikari? I'm under the impression that he has no clue (just like he didn't really know what was going on with Yami's home life). He still calls her Yami-senpai.

I'm trying to get into Yuu's mind and see why he did what he did, i.e. kept Hikari in the dark.

I'm in love with Hikari and have been for 10+ years. I feel like I've been trying to get her to see me romantically without blowing up our friendship but nothing seems to work and every time I try I get more and more demoralized. I try again (getting into her high school) and fail miserably. I feel so bad I don't even want to tell her about trying to get into her high school.

At the point I'm lowest I meet a new girl. She's already going to the school Hikari got into so I call her Yami-senpai. We sorta hit it off and I'm not exactly sure what this relationship is. All of a sudden she's hitting on me and I kind of just go with the flow because I'm 14-15 and a pretty girl is practically throwing herself on me.

Yami and I are now in a relationship. It's helping me forget about Hikari somewhat. I still talk about Hikari and think about her but I'm liking what's going on with Yami to the point that I'm fairly serious about this relationship. All of a sudden Yami drops off the face of the planet. I can't get ahold of her.

It's now been 9-12 months (Chapter 30 says it's the last week of July when Yami ignores Yuu's texts/calls about hanging out to see the fireworks and then Chapter 1 is sometime in the period of the next April through June). I'm hanging out with Hikari again and my feelings are back or never left. I'm starting to get the impression that she might feel for me what I feel for her. I'm taking things slow.

It's now been another 4-7 months of hanging out with Hikari. It's September and she's invited me to her school festival. I'm nervous about potentially running into Yami-senpai so I'm hesitant about accepting Hikari's invite. I ultimately decide to go.

Here's where there's a lot of missing information. Long story short, I run into my ex, Yami, while at the festival. We talk, she slaps and then kisses me. I leave to go find Hikari.

At this point, with all the information that's been shown so far: I have no idea Hikari and Yami are best friends. I have no idea they even know of each other as they should be in different grades for all I know and most likely would not interact that much. I have no idea Hikari witnessed the slap-kiss. I have a plan to confess to Hikari (whether that's based on what Yami and I talked about - who knows).

Why in the world would I risk a no to my confession or muddy things up by bringing up my ex to Hikari when as far as I know, Hikari shouldn't even be aware of her. Am I really going to be like "Hey Hikari, sorry we got separated, I ran into my ex girlfriend who I've never mentioned to you before. You probably don't know her because she's older than us. Funny story, she slapped me and then kissed me when I rejected her because I love you and want to date you. You wanna date?"

Get real. No way in hell he's going to bring up Yami while trying to ask out Hikari. It doesn't make any sense logically.

Have you asked out someone before? Are you going to mention any of your ex's during the process just in case the ex and your new crush might know each other? It makes perfect sense that Yuu's going to keep quiet about Yami. The only reason he should bring up Yami is if Yuu had knowledge that she and Hikari are now friends and all evidence points to him being clueless about that.

Sorry about the wall of text. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

 

[GennArc]

I haven't read all of the novelization parts so please correct me if I'm wrong.

It's hard to make corrections because there are too many assumptions in your post. That Yuu knows this and doesn't know that, what was going on with him in that HS first year, what happened between him and Yami in the classroom etc.
I commend you for trying to put yourself in his shoes though.

 

[HellJester]

It's hard to make corrections because there are too many assumptions in your post. That Yuu knows this and doesn't know that, what was going on with him in that HS first year, what happened between him and Yami in the classroom etc.
I commend you for trying to put yourself in his shoes though.

I guess the only thing I want to know (at the moment) is whether or not Yuu was aware that Yami was held back a year and was in the same grade as Hikari.

If he didn't know, it's safe to say that he would reasonably assume Hikari and Yami didn't know each other as other than after school clubs, I believe the different grades in Japanese schools don't interact much.

 

[GennArc]

I guess the only thing I want to know (at the moment) is whether or not Yuu was aware that Yami was held back a year and was in the same grade as Hikari.

If he didn't know, it's safe to say that he would reasonably assume Hikari and Yami didn't know each other as other than after school clubs, I believe the different grades in Japanese schools don't interact much.

He clearly knew she was held back a year, because it happened when they just met. They slept with each other for the first time the night after she learned that (and also after he got his entrance exams results).
What he might not have known is:

• whether she started attending school again or not (by chapter 19 he probably knew already, judging by his reaction to Hikari's invitation)
• that she and Hikari were classmates and friends

 

[story645]

I'm hanging out with Hikari again and my feelings are back or never left.

Novelization says he was hanging out w/ Hikari while he was dating Aya.

If he didn't know, it's safe to say that he would reasonably assume Hikari and Yami didn't know each other as other than after school clubs, I believe the different grades in Japanese schools don't interact much.

Even when you try to get into his head, you've got that he knows that there's a potential for a problem at the school festival - it's why he was even wavering on saying yes. Like it's understandable why he didn't say anything to Hikari and also yeah he should've.

Why in the world would I risk a no to my confession or muddy things up by bringing up my ex to Hikari when as far as I know, Hikari shouldn't even be aware of her.

Because Yuu knows Hikari knows he's lying and Hikari is upset about it. Like ignoring the feelings of your confession partner is a bigger risk.

Which all of this is to say that his actions can be both reasonable/understandable and wrong.

 

[BlargET]

And I see he continues to have no character. Me and another user actually got into a conversation over yami's kiss and if certain things came to light if it would make her look worse or not. I said only slightly but what would be ruined is this fools non character. Then he pulls this shit and now he definitely has no character cause the fuck is his motive in any of this?

 

[Mrson]

And I see he continues to have no character. Me and another user actually got into a conversation over yami's kiss and if certain things came to light if it would make her look worse or not. I said only slightly but what would be ruined is this fools non character. Then he pulls this shit and now he definitely has no character cause the fuck is his motive in any of this?

Well... try to put yourself in his shoes, a teenager full of hormones who is just starting to learn about relationships...

 

[BlargET]

Well... try to put yourself in his shoes, a teenager full of hormones who is just starting to learn about relationships...

Again, what characters say and what characters do in some way have to line up. If there are inconsistencies then it's on the writer to explain these away. This is done with character motive, if what a character says and does doesn't line up it can be explained with that character having a particular motive. Yuu here has no motive and no character cause all the actions he takes works against what the other 2 characters have stated he's wanted and what he himself said here. Sorry but I don't buy "he's just a confused teen" he's either really dense (read: retarded) or he's actively lying. Cause "I've loved you for a long time" doesn't look like trying to shack up with another girl. So either he's malicious or stupid.

Call it.

 

[Litreara]

And I see he continues to have no character. Me and another user actually got into a conversation over yami's kiss and if certain things came to light if it would make her look worse or not. I said only slightly but what would be ruined is this fools non character. Then he pulls this shit and now he definitely has no character cause the fuck is his motive in any of this?

Not sure if you saw, but the author accidentally leaked chapter 38 of the novel. I posted an MTL on page 20.