Isekai de Saikyou no Tsue ni Tensei shita Ore ga Iyagaru Shoujo wo Muriyari Mahou Shoujo ni P suru! - Vol. 4 Ch. 17 - Demon Lord Magical Girl World P…
- Thread starter MangaDex
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This manga started so promising, but the author trying to force the rival genderbend dude into the hero's allied group completely messed up the pacing of the story. Not only that but the unremarkableness of the MC is becoming worse and worse as the story continues.
It's not like the writer couldn't write him well if he wanted to. He's shown to be good with children. He's shown to have an imagination. He's shown to believe in good people.
He has traits the author could use positively. He uses literally none of them. The only traits the author's putting to use is being a subservient indecisive super otaku.
This story actually had potential even with all of the fanservice. Now it's a not even a shell of it's chapter 1 potential. It's even worse than that.
_________
Example:
Some children say they saw a demon outside. None of the adults believe the kids because kids wouldn't see a demon and come back alive. They think it's just children playing around. The wand here's this, and asks the heroine to investigate. They find nothing, but traded goods are slowly disappearing. Is it bandits? He asks the children what they thought they saw, and using his ability to befriend them, they say they thought they saw a giant lizard. Oh they couldn't find the demon because it was a camouflaging gecko type demon. He creates a heat-sensing skill, they fight and defeat it.
Or how about, they find a band of ruffians with stolen goods. They see them and he just thinks they're adventurers because he believes in the good in people. The ruffians actually lost a lot of their strength and are worried about returning to sell their stolen goods. He mentions that they should return together. On the way back they get attacked by monsters and one of the ruffians is gravely injured. The others want to abandon the ruffian but the hero and heroine won't have it, and they save him. As they travel back to the village they converse about their dreams and the ruffians realized they also had dreams once. They start reflecting on their actions. By the time they get to the town, the guilt of their actions is severe. They turn themselves in. Protag uses extra money he has to lighten their sentences after he finds out thinking everyone deserves a second chance.
You can even use his otaku personality in a positive way.
This guy loves magical girls right. Magical Girls fight with the power of love and friendship.
You can have her take a mission to escort a greedy trader (I'll write them as female.) The trader sees trading as a zero-sum game. They must get the most profit at the most loss to the person they trade with. The hero remarks the quality of the goods they're transporting and confronts the trader. The trader understanding the jig is up tries to increase the price of protection even knowing that they're committing fraud. The hero denies this, and asks her to charge a legitimate price. The trader fed up with the two goes off on her own. She's attacked by bandits and is put in a life or death situation. She realizes now that her money is useless and the value of the fraudulent goods are a detriment. Her life's on the line and her money's no good. In comes the magical girl heroine who defeats the bandits. The trader asks if they came for the increase in price. They say no. They came because they didn't want her to die. The trader realizes that human life is priceless, and what it truly means to be an honest human being. She takes the goods to her destination and tries to sell it at a normal price. Turns out the client sent the bandits in order to steal the goods before they arrived... She profits from selling the client and the bandits into slavery, "since prisons don't exist in the middle ages, prisons were basically being turned into slaves."
____________
And I just wrote that in 5 minutes while being lazy as fucking balls. None of the shit I wrote progressed the overarching narrative or anything either.
It's not like the writer couldn't write him well if he wanted to. He's shown to be good with children. He's shown to have an imagination. He's shown to believe in good people.
He has traits the author could use positively. He uses literally none of them. The only traits the author's putting to use is being a subservient indecisive super otaku.
This story actually had potential even with all of the fanservice. Now it's a not even a shell of it's chapter 1 potential. It's even worse than that.
_________
Example:
Some children say they saw a demon outside. None of the adults believe the kids because kids wouldn't see a demon and come back alive. They think it's just children playing around. The wand here's this, and asks the heroine to investigate. They find nothing, but traded goods are slowly disappearing. Is it bandits? He asks the children what they thought they saw, and using his ability to befriend them, they say they thought they saw a giant lizard. Oh they couldn't find the demon because it was a camouflaging gecko type demon. He creates a heat-sensing skill, they fight and defeat it.
Or how about, they find a band of ruffians with stolen goods. They see them and he just thinks they're adventurers because he believes in the good in people. The ruffians actually lost a lot of their strength and are worried about returning to sell their stolen goods. He mentions that they should return together. On the way back they get attacked by monsters and one of the ruffians is gravely injured. The others want to abandon the ruffian but the hero and heroine won't have it, and they save him. As they travel back to the village they converse about their dreams and the ruffians realized they also had dreams once. They start reflecting on their actions. By the time they get to the town, the guilt of their actions is severe. They turn themselves in. Protag uses extra money he has to lighten their sentences after he finds out thinking everyone deserves a second chance.
You can even use his otaku personality in a positive way.
This guy loves magical girls right. Magical Girls fight with the power of love and friendship.
You can have her take a mission to escort a greedy trader (I'll write them as female.) The trader sees trading as a zero-sum game. They must get the most profit at the most loss to the person they trade with. The hero remarks the quality of the goods they're transporting and confronts the trader. The trader understanding the jig is up tries to increase the price of protection even knowing that they're committing fraud. The hero denies this, and asks her to charge a legitimate price. The trader fed up with the two goes off on her own. She's attacked by bandits and is put in a life or death situation. She realizes now that her money is useless and the value of the fraudulent goods are a detriment. Her life's on the line and her money's no good. In comes the magical girl heroine who defeats the bandits. The trader asks if they came for the increase in price. They say no. They came because they didn't want her to die. The trader realizes that human life is priceless, and what it truly means to be an honest human being. She takes the goods to her destination and tries to sell it at a normal price. Turns out the client sent the bandits in order to steal the goods before they arrived... She profits from selling the client and the bandits into slavery, "since prisons don't exist in the middle ages, prisons were basically being turned into slaves."
____________
And I just wrote that in 5 minutes while being lazy as fucking balls. None of the shit I wrote progressed the overarching narrative or anything either.
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Pg11 first 2 panels : Maou being scared shitless of those perverts. He knows it's dangerous to go against crazy people.
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