@vvinchan - most of it seems to be ok for my crude eyes.
Only things that make me want to suggest changes are around page 9
This navel's waist -> This bare midriff (This bare belly)
Then the strip in this section -> And this absolute area OR And this open area OR And then these bare thighs. (It's the bare legs between the long socks and the skirt that's the common fetish)