Mane Mane Nichi Nichi - Vol. 1 Ch. 2 - Tea

[MangaDex]

 

[davidgraham212121]

Work on something else because this ain't it

 

[IDKjustkuya]

Work on something else because this ain't it

would love to hear whats wrong with it, so i can improve- this is my first translation and im only one guy, im doing this cuz i like the manga and its short and convinent to translate, ur negative comments provide nothing

 

[theIgloo]

would love to hear whats wrong with it, so i can improve- this is my first translation and im only one guy, im doing this cuz i like the manga and its short and convinent to translate, ur negative comments provide nothing

Only looked at page 1 but

• Hyphenate when you wrap words. If you don't then it reads like two separate words instead of one
• Use center alignment instead of left, also make sure the text is lined up properly in the bubble
• 3rd panel especially doesn't read well, comma use feels random
• Proofread: come back → comeback, its → it's
• There's still some leftovers of the original text in the speech bubbles

You can always compare your work to other groups or official work, it's even easier in this case since there's another group that already did these chapters.

There's also guides out there that you can read for TS at least, not sure about CLRD.