What the hell, dude. Normally you don't jump in front of a moving train if you don't want to die. The description says it was an accident, but that must be like a news headline: a person died in an accident, when in reality he clearly jumped on purpose. He had failed so many times, despite trying his best, that he gave up on life itself and killed himself. So, he accepted death was the only solution, and thus when he said he didn't want to die, it meant he didn't want his whole life to be so miserable he had no choice but to kill himself. There's a distinct difference there.