MD General board saga! (The neverending story)

[Ivegotnolife]

I was originally going to wait till MD version 5 launched, and the new forum was online to avoid a possible purge of the board's content eliminating the original content of the unending story.
Yet the DM session threads introduced by @immortalartisan prompted me to just go with it now instead!

This thread is based on the neverending story concept where all users are free to add to the story where the proceeding user left off, and based on my past experience with such threads even the most unexpected and nonsensical posts just add to the fun. So even trolling and 💩post style storyline entries are welcome, but for the sake of continuity it would be best to highlight nonstory related commentary with quote bbcode brackets or parenthesis.


Okay I'll start the story now!


H. D**kman woke up from his stupor in the minivan in the woods behind the zoo he now called home since he was demoted from Zoological researcher to night watchmen. Though he wasn't officially reassigned to that job, he just knew the zoo's governing committee wouldn't actually mean to have him vacate his calling to ensure the wellbeing of his pandas.
He just couldn't believe the fuss they made earlier that week. It's perfectly normal to be obsessive over Féi Xióng's fertility treatments! And those stories floating around about him stuffing bamboo in his pants to incite mauling was just stories! Or were they? It's been getting harder to tell lately.

How long was I out? he wondered as he looked out at the darkness around him. Did Féi Xióng get her..... That's odd things seam out of sorts around here.
He got out of the van to investigate the gloomy night atmosphere around the zoo's parameter.
As he approached the gate he was startled by a voice and a tug on his pants. "MMMM those are some fine jeans! GIMME!"
Terrified he took off running, but he heard no steps behind him when he heard the voice again! Just as close as before! "That denim clad a** is mine!"
He ran for all he was worth! A self proclaimed master in LowDuc karate he twisted, turned, and twerked the 💩 out his a** till something tripped him and he fell to the ground hard enough to cause him to lose his sense for a bit.

When he came to his legs felt a bit chilly, and his understandibly soiled jeans were slithering around the corner of the gate entry booths nearby. Eh? those were my best pair! And up till now they had been completely inanimate! What's going on! He thought as he got up to follow his now ambulatory pair of Leroy Jenkins around the corner.

 

[immortalartisan]

he thought what sort of stupid mess am i in right now. ill need to get a another pair of nice jeans

 

[hazzack]

"stupid ass jeans going around stupidly" he fumes.

he went back to the van for another pair of jeans

"i know i had some jeans back there" he talked to himself.

 

[bigtiddyoneesan]

In the next city over, a local salaryman awoke. It was the usual time; 7 am. He went through his morning routine and headed off to work. His name was Dick. Dick Cockinbutt.

 

[immortalartisan]

And in an alternate universe A researcher by the name of Damon vanleer prepared for Interdimensional ai testing

 

[MawMaw]

But Damon is a lazy researcher and when the procrastination hit him, he went home and jerk off to his favorite Mogiki Hayami's M(ale)ILF doujins instead.

 

[immortalartisan]

The question is if that would last a 1000 years more

 

[bigtiddyoneesan]

'Damn vanleer' is a chuuni cuck. Mr. Cockinbutt had no idea who this 'vanleer' guy was, but if he did, he would beat his ass into the ground.

Also, Dick was part of a DnD group on his days off. As it was Friday, he would be hanging out with his pals and having a gay old time playing DnD in less than 24 hours. Dick couldn't keep himself from getting excited, so much so that he excused himself to the restroom four times that day.

 

[Ivegotnolife]

D**kman shook his head in a effort to clear the fog from his mind as he headed back to the van to find some new pants to replace the pair that had somehow managed to evade him just a moment earlier. These weird spells appeared to be coming on more frequently lately. He didn't even know Dick, or why the thoughts he brought to mind caused a urgent need to visit the restroom. And Damn Vanleer's gibberish laced commentary about interdimensional BL doujins just made his head hurt!

As he approached his van he noted with alarm it appeared to have been ransacked in his absence! When he looked inside he saw his dufflebag was missing, and along with it his spare trousers! As he checked the van desperately he saw feathers on the seat. Was his sleeping bag down filled? Not that he could recall.
Just then his backside began to itch unbearably, so he had to give it some attention with the iron claw to subdue it. As he withdrew the claw from his posterior he notices something flutter to the ground behind him. More feathers?

 

[bigtiddyoneesan]

Dick Cockinbutt's work day was finally over. And, as it was Friday, he had the entire weekend to play DnD with his buddies. However, this DnD session would be different.

Dick checked his phone and noticed a text from one of his pals. It informed him that the DnD session would be held in the city over from where Dick worked, at some professional DnD player's house. Some guy named Dan Vanler or something. Dick thought to himself, "Man, what a dumb name", and chortled. He called his friend to confirm the time and location of the sesh (a cool way of saying 'session'), and, as it turned out, he would be able to get there the next morning by train.

 

[immortalartisan]

meanwhile damon vanleer snapped out of it and realized he had gotton to in character and forgot about the prep work for a session in a couple hours and he decided to turn off his router to concentrate for the next couple hours on the prep work. he then realized the client never gave a theme or campaign and panicked frantically trying to switch back on his router to make the call.

 

[Ivegotnolife]

Dick roused from his sleep addled state of mind. On his train ride to the next town over the train carriage's rhythmic rocking lulled him to sleep, in spite of his manic fervor in anticipation of the upcoming DnD binge this weekend. What had awakened him? Even with his eyes still closed he could tell the train's motion had ceased, and there was a cold draft blowing upon him. When he opened his eyes he just looked up into the hazy darkness of the night sky.

'That's odd wasn't I on a train?' He wondered.

But even that wasn't the oddest part. He was laying butt naked in some sort of animal enclosure with a baton on the ground between his legs, and a pair of high quality but noticeably soiled jeans clutched in his hand.

 

[immortalartisan]

Damon finally got the call through to the guy paying for the session and just got
“Well do what ever you want”

Well great now he would have to create a generic one shot of some sort and decided to just go with a siege and finally sat down and played star sector with no worries on his mind as he waited for the group to arrive

3 hours later most of the group arrived except for one of them and they said would wait for the last guy 2 more hours Damon was getting tired of waiting and just told the group come back tomorrow, as he clearly isn’t coming soon.

“I’ll do another session free along with Sunday as compensation since you guys just waited here.“

Welp he thought guess I’m back to real work. He was looking forward to the session even if it was paid and decided to put on his coat get in his car and head out to the lab at the zoo. And when he arrived he decided screw it i really should finish up this milestone and decided to call off the of Sunday and explain he would also do another weekend free as compensation with that dealt with, he got out of his car a old 90ish looking car comically stylish and cia looking. And scanned his Id card Into the rnd branch, grabbed a hazmat suit and headed to the cryo cells to see if they finished growing the new life forms. The aim was creating werewolf like creatures that would be combat capable although the only one he had managed was one with turned into birds which while fast were not combat usable. Because of that he had just dumped out that batch into the wild hoping they would die to natural predators.

As he looked upon the successful batch of werewolfs a satisfied smile spread upon his face as he finally realized he was looking at nearly a million dollars of scientific work. Though the main problem is if they were combat usable which would take a couple months of conditioning and testing and further improvements.