I agree with all of this, but she's still kind of a bitch. Like, even if your actions come from a caring place, if you're mean and rude about it, it doesn't really make up for the emotional damage you're inflicting on others.
She was also effectively mantled with "you'll be the queen one day" from the time they were both children, and pushed along by the faction that backed her over Luliam and made to shoulder
a lot of stress and responsibility from an early age.
That sort of pressure will do a lot to influence how one acts toward even those they care about during one's developmental years, and if she wasn't getting lots of "release" during that time in the form of unconditional love and affection and affirmation from her mother to counterbalance it, then that means she spent her childhood and adolescence being groomed to become queen and not given the chance to ....be a child about it.
I'd argue that her attitude is one born of that pressure, wherein she's had to effectively lock her emotions away because otherwise she'd break down. She took the "you have to be pragmatic and decisive" parts of being a ruler and turned them up to 11, to try and grow up quickly and assume the competency she'd need to be an effective ruler--forgetting that a
good ruler also needs to have compassion and a sense of balance in things.
That's not to
excuse her for her coldness toward Luliam and Daichi and Nana, but I absolutely understand it if this is where it comes from, and I think I could even forgive her some of it, as it's just as much the fault of those putting that pressure on her as it is hers, especially if she knew no other way because no one in her situation could show her there was another way.
**also forgot that I didn't tack this on already:
Daichi might very well be the first person to actually call Eldora on her bullshit. If she's had no one to push back on her behaving this way and tell her that there's a better path forward, and that she
actually doesn't have to shoulder this burden on her own, then it makes sense why she's had this attitude, coupled with no one being there reminding her that she can be a person and have love and affection, and not be required to shut down her emotions and her humanity at all times.