Ugh what an irresponsible woman. Forget 'limit his dreams' out of love and whatnot, that's still his fucking child that he has the right to know of. You not only stole years of his heart hanging on to you, but years he could've spent with the child.
All those years you spent being lonely with the child, what was it all for? You just planted the seeds of misery in both the father and the child, let it thrive even. Communication and common sense chase after you, but you ran far ahead, leaving the father and daughter to pick up the pieces of their lives.