My Joy

[MangaDex]

 

[totallynotmike]

I guess rating's the extension of yuridom's immature inability to cope with anything else than kissu - confession - happy tearz fluff (sailor fuku a must!), because story itself is really well directed. Oh yurifags, do never change.

edit: yep, yurifags x cringy dykes 4 life

 

[Taikutsu18]

WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT IS THAT?!!😡😡😡


The story Well written, tho. BUT STILL!!!!
I WAS NEVER THIS ANGRY IN MY LIFE!!!!!😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

 

[darara]

Hehe, this is not for everyone, that's for sure.

After I read "her pet" from Pito I gave this a try, and... Well, it is different. I don't think the idea is bad, I actually like it, but the ending feels too rushed and bland. After all that buildup it ended in like 1 chapters, without a real punch. Or it feels like it's missing a second season.
But seriously. This is the kind of manga where you enjoy the ride, you want to know what's happens next, you keep scrolling, and the author is just like "fuck you", the end.
I am not sure, but I think you get the point.

Spoiler

Kind of funny how the most innocent girl turned into a two timing slut in like 5 minutes, just to protect their nonexistent friendship. She is not that smart, huh? She fucked up big time.
Even Hye-yeon felt disillusioned about her, and she is a though cookie.


Needs a sequel where Namsu and Hye-yeon hooks up, and leaves this slutty psychopath in the dust.

Whatever.

 

[YellowBikes]

Within a few chapters of this story, I had a feeling that something fucked up was going to happen. Guess my gut feeling was right! I was pissed and felt so bad for Namsu. I really wanted the MC to get karmic retribution.

 

[Xaelath]

Probably one of the worst Yuri I have ever read.
Bitch Protagonist and main characters, toyed other people hearts,
I know love isn't just rainbow and butterflies but that was just bad.
Early writing is good but its like author gave middle finger to reader.

"it's not for everyone doesn't really cut the it" of how this love triangle works.
It's also have NTR but much worse because the dumb characters.

I never felt so damn pissed when reading this especially what happened to Namsu by the end of the story.
It's missing something in the story and badly rushed too.

Read it if you will.

 

[relopokilolo]

consistently, every single time someone mentions this story they mention that they get uncontrollably angry lol

Not that I disagree with them, if you feel like you haven't been enraged for a while then reading this will help

 

[KiotheFrail]

it's just got a real unsatisfying and depressing end
if you want to hurt yourself, go ahead, but otherwise, just don't read this

 

[No3o2n1e]

This is the first yuri story I really didn´t enjoy reading. The plot was interesting at first but then it was just a mess. At the end it didn´t make sense and the main character turned out to be straigh up cold b*tch. God, I am so pissed after reading it.

 

[ThornyMushroom]

It's kinda fucked up how the only reason this happened was because the other students kept berating Joy for not going out with the school's sports star because it'd be a hassle for them if their relationship affected the track team's nationals performance, kinda pathetic how Namsu gave up before even making a move on Joy and then got mad at her for it and forced herself upon her. Obviously that's not the point but it just comes across as a story about the social influence athletes hold on the academic world and how they can get their way.

Also this is on dramatics so kitsch it's almost in the same level as something written by Naoko Kodama lmfao.

 

[North87]

I think the story was very well written. I think all of the characters were believable and I had no problem believing these characters could have been real people. I think there is especially a lot of people like Hye-yeon out there.

I think as the story was presented Joy made her choice but was unwilling or unable to own it. She clearly picked Hye-yeon, and her sending that picture to Namsu was her way of getting it out in the open. She did in the end turn out to be kind of a heartless person, and she really ruined Namsu life.

What I really disliked was how callous Hye-yeon and Joy was towards Namsu. But then again, Hye-yeon was presented as a bad apple from the start. Hye-yeon had very few redeeming traits.

But I was really hoping that for once we would see characters suffer some consequences for their actions. But alas, at the end Hye-yeon and Joy acted like they did nothing wrong and was not told how horrible they were. That was disappointing. I was hoping that Namsu would beat up Hye-yeon.

 

[weganizm]

a little too fast needed to be longer but its still a beautiful story and i truly empathize with all of them, i get all of their sides
i guess people who get angry here just dont get it
yall dont even know how arbitary and made up is the concept of a monogamous relationship
its something that ure societally groomed into and made to view it as some sort of objective reality and something innate and natural to be monogamous
it doesnt have to be like this, there truly is space for many people in ur heart
and this story is just an example of how the imposition on monogamy hurts literally everybody, each of them suffers because this arbitrary societal concept exists

 

[LilithRaven]

a little too fast needed to be longer but its still a beautiful story and i truly empathize with all of them, i get all of their sides
i guess people who get angry here just dont get it
yall dont even know how arbitary and made up is the concept of a monogamous relationship
its something that ure societally groomed into and made to view it as some sort of objective reality and something innate and natural to be monogamous
it doesnt have to be like this, there truly is space for many people in ur heart
and this story is just an example of how the imposition on monogamy hurts literally everybody, each of them suffers because this arbitrary societal concept exists

if you sympathize with thous 2 people way if ruining shit for the 3rd person cuz you can’t in your god damn life break up and HIDE her cheating?!?!

brother this says all i need to know what kind of person you ARE

also you live in delul land! this was NOT about poly at ALL! you give a garbage impression that this is the type of people will have an healthy relationship in poly? the kinda that GASLIGHTS you into thinking it wasn’t cheating? it wasn’t a choice made to HIDE the relatiomship because Joy was an piece of indecisive shit? coudn’t even ADMIT to all that garbage!

LAMO

 

[aPleasantMoth]

idk how to do spoiler tags so spoilers in the first paragraph!

I'm the kind of person who likes to see all the branches of a story fully thought out so an epilogue would've been nice. Does Namsu heal in her new school, does Hye-Yeon still love this crueler side of Joy or was she only ever in love with an ideal. Does Joy ever face her mistakes or find a way to approach romantic relationships that doesn't hurt people.

They don't answer that, but for what it is the characters are well thought out and the story managed to squeeze my heart into knots so it delivered on what it promised. If you came here looking for a romance story where flawed people get fixed by the end you probably won't enjoy this but I would say that it's well written and delivers an emotionally powerful story. Genuine writing cons... the only thing that i can think of is that the story is a little shallow. It makes the characters more relatable and the twists hit more personally but ultimately doesn't show you anything new or interesting in the world.

 

[Zrowos77]

Nah, I think this pain is so good... f*ck

 

[aiyumi86]

It had a good story so far but to end so abruptly is disappointing. Nothing was answered. We don’t know what is going on with all of them. There could have been one more ending maybe all of them just didn’t workout. Namsu transfers and moves on. Joy regretting and not happy just living like nothing wrong and hye-yeon ends things with joy and moves on and stay friends. Maybe an ending with no one together would have been better. This ending was too open that is doesn’t resolve anything.

 

[Arcwell]

This ending feels true to life from my own school experiences, teens that age make those kind of mistakes and just fail to see how they did wrong.

It feels like whilst sorry, Joy didn't learn anything at all, Namsu is just left devastated having lost everything whilst Hye-Yeon grows more insecure and maybe a bit disillusioned with Joy.

As a story is this satisfying to read? Hmm, not really, the abrupt ending gives no sense of consequence or closure and the characters aren't given a chance to reflect on what happened.

 

[lenightmare]

People say the ending is shallow or too sudden, and technically it may be, but from context clues I can guarantee you this is a terrible end for Joy

Hi, I'm Lenightmare, a lesbian trans woman. I'm unemployed. Also my ADHD tests (which y'all should do) says I'm supposedly very good at interpreting things. I don't think this is enough to legitimize what I'm about to write, but whatever, I think y'all need a better explanation of what happened

In the story, we're introduced to our three characters, Joy, Namsu and Hye-Yeon. Even though Joy is the titular character, it becomes clear we're not exactly following her perspective, the entire manga takes place in Namsu's and Hye-Yeon's view of what happened, and thus it's hard for people to understand exactly what's going on with Joy, but hopefully through reading this you can understand her better, and see just how much miserable she's become by the end.

One very important character that barely appears is Hye-Gyung, if this were a literature classic, she probably wouldn't even exist, but the author, consciously or not, decided not having a character like this would make things even more confusing. Hye-Gyung isn't a character exactly, she's more of a part of Joy, a fragment of her consciousness, that comes up to remind her just how important this moment is. In the first chapter, Hye-Gyung asks if Joy is thinking of her boyfriend, an early sign that Joy may think of Hye-Yeon as a potential partner. After that, we're introduced to Namsu, and a similar situation happens with Namsu's coach, finally giving us the main gist of the manga.

We start by seeing Namsu's view of things, how she's clearly in love but unsure of what these feelings actually are. She sees Hye-Yeon take advances on Joy, both casually and more intimately and feels uneasy, finally understanding that she isn't okay with Joy maintaining their relationship as just friends. Hye-Yeon helps her understand that a lesbian relationship is okay, and she, through her struggles with running, discovers the toll of the uncertainty that is Joy dating someone else.

Once more, Hye-Gyung comes in to help make things clearer. She motivates Namsu to be true to her feelings, to not be afraid to tell Joy just how much she loves her and the intentions she has. By this point, Joy is still clueless as to what's happening, Namsu's running time is being directly affected by her feelings, and if she doesn't act quick, Namsu won't be able to participate in the nationals. Joy, after cheering Namsu, goes to the classroom with Hye-Yeon, and this is the first scene I think a lot of people neglected to analyse. This is one of the most important scenes in the whole manga, not for Namsu, but for Joy.

In that classroom, Joy, whose feelings were still being developed, discovers lust, pleasure, and the excitement of a sexually active relationship. It's in this moment she starts to desire Hye-Yeon, not when they first met, not when they got separated, not when they kissed (although that did show her a glimpse of what was to come), but now, during their more intimate moment in the classroom.

Chapter 9 is when Joy finally understands just what she's gotten into. Her classmate explains to her Namsu's underperforming runs, and that she couldn't be ignored anymore. Hye-Gyung the goat comes once again to clarify things, and tells Joy she has a choice to make. Here, Hye-Gyung not only represents Joy's consciousness and the sudden realization that she needs to choose one, but also the pressure from the students. It's clear Namsu likes Joy, and the students want Joy to date Namsu just to improve her times, thus giving her a legitimate chance to win the nationals.

Hye-Gyung, once again acting as Joy's consciousness, asks Joy if she made a choice, which Joy responds vaguely. Joy herself is unsure of her choice, but still acts cheerfully and moves on, blinded by her desire to keep things as they are. She has a talk with Namsu over their feelings for one another and Joy decides to date Namsu. I want this to be very clear, at this moment, Joy hasn't actually figured out her feelings for Namsu, even though later, when we're shown her thought process behind her decision, she says she likes them both. She's moved by Namsu's feelings, and wants to reciprocate it, but she's not really sure of her feelings just yet, she is dating Namsu merely because of the pressure the school is putting on her, and the worries she has as shown by her saying in chapter 23 she doesn't want her to feel lonely. This backfires immensely, but we'll get there when we get there

Chapter 12 shows us the dreaded scene, but with a few parts censored as to not spoil those who didn't figure out joy just yet. The following chapters are focused on Namsu working on her jealousy and envy. Joy says she doesn't want Namsu to publicly announce their relationship because she's worried of the social pressure she'll suffer, but truth be told, the two of them getting together is exactly what people want. It improves Namsu's times, giving her the chance to go to the nationals.

Chapter 14 and 15, just like the classroom scene, are two of the most important chapters in the whole manga. Joy and Namsu go on their first and only date. It's here that Joy discovers the intimacy of pure love, the happiness that walking and talking with the person she loves conveys, which is very different from the instant pleasure of lust. In the night that follows, Joy, influenced by Hye-Yeon's forwardness, asks Namsu to have sex, and Namsu refuses, as they just got dating, which is fair, but not enough for Joy. The mere concept of a relationship to Joy is entangled by lust, by the immediate pleasure and carnal feeling that sex offers, and, after receiving a call from Hye-Yeon, decides to go check on her to see what's wrong, and they end up having sex.

We see Hye-Yeon's backstory, how she came to conclude she loves Joy, and how she became so sexually active. This is made to legitimize her feelings to the readers, showing that what Joy is doing is not only hurting Namsu, but Hye-Yeon herself. Chapter 21 may seem laid back, but it shows us a bit of what Joy is thinking. Joy is dating the two of them as if she's dating a single person. On one side, we have Hye-Yeon, who showed her the pleasures of lust, the feeling of being physically wanted, and on the other side we have Namsu, who showed her lust isn't everything there is to it, the pure feeling of loving each other without necessarily wanting sex is new but exciting to Joy, and by choosing the two of them, she feels as if she can have both sides of the coin, seeing as each one provides something that the other side can't.

as I mentioned previously, chapter 23 shows a bit of what's going on in Joy's mind during the time she had to make a choice. As we've come to understand, she concludes that dating both of them is the only solution, seeing as choosing one will leave the other lonely. We're also shown that Hye-Yeon is purposefully showing herself with Joy more as to convey the feeling they're intimate to their classmates. Hye-Yeon understands the choice Joy did, but feels it's not enough, she can't be satisfied having part of Joy, so she tries what she cans to get her fully. Rumors spread, and Namsu is told Joy and Hye-yeon were seen kissing in school.

Back in chapter 22, Namsu confronts Joy about these rumors, stating she wants joy to be faithful, which Joy responds aggresively, claiming she should be more sexually active with her, and the chapter ends with Namsu promising Joy to have sex with her after she gets the medal, to which Joy feels proud. This is a very big promise, Namsu essentially said she'll become the country's greatest high-school runner and get a medal just for Joy. In her mind, Joy is still tainted by her desires, lust still plagues her definition of a relationship, but hearing such big promise moves her, the feelings conveyed by Namsu's words are strong, and it's going to affect her, you'll see how.

Back to the present, Joy, having taken a picture with Hye-Yeon after they had sex, accidentally sends it to Namsu, resulting in disaster. The three of them have a confrontation, and this scene is full of context clues of what is going on in Joy's mind. Here, Namsu and Hye-Yeon aren't just representing themselves, but also Joy's mind. Namsu, which is the part of Joy that understood the feeling of being loved and not just physically wanted, is disgusted by what Joy is doing, and feels the other party is corrupting her, hurting them all in the process. Meanwhile, Hye-Yeon, which is the part of Joy that sides with the immediate pleasure of sex, gives empty excuses, stating Namsu isn't present enough for Joy, which is a very flawed argument considering she knew that Namsu was going through a lot, and still decided to date her. That's all this part of Joy can do, lie to herself, give flawed explanations to what she's doing, being dishonest. Joy foolishly follows Hye-Yeon's offensive, and as we're about to see, this forever affects her.

After this experience, Namsu falls off the stairs and sprains her ankle, disqualifying her from the nationals. I think this is where people feel the author went overboard, and I understand that. It's as if Namsu is being punished for merely doing what Joy allowed her to do, innocently. She didn't do anything wrong, so why is she being punished? Once again, Namsu, in taking that fall, is also representing her side of Joy's consciousness. Joy is finally aware of what she just did. By ending her girlfriend's dream, she hurt everyone in the process. Hye-Yeon and Namsu fought, Hye-Yeon felt conflicted from the beginning, and Namsu's first year in high-school is forever changed, and now, Joy finally notices what she subconsciously noticed a long time ago, that Hye-Yeon couldn't give her what Namsu gave, the feeling of pure love, the feeling of being wanted not just for carnal acts, but for respect and well-being.

This, I think, is where most people fail to understand exactly what the author is conveying. The last few scenes are of Hye-Yeon's uncertainty and insecurity of Joy's reciprocate love. This isn't to punish Hye-Yeon, not directly at least, this is to show Joy is now incomplete. She will forever think of her mistakes, the pure love she abandoned in favor of a shallow, fading carnal feeling. The last scene is of Joy seeing Namsu's pictures, crying, and asking if Hye-Yeon will always be by her side. By asking this, Joy is reminding herself of the future she chose, how she chose sex over love, how she will probably never have this feeling with Hye-Yeon, or heck, ever again. It's in this final moment that Joy realises, Namsu loved her, really loved her, and she loved her too. What started as pity and societal pressure ended up being legitimate feelings, feelings that will never fade, and will never settle.

In the end, bellow Namsu, bellow Hye-Yeon, we find Joy. A girl who picked the immediate pleasure, the present, over the future, the forever lasting love. Sure, Namsu lost her chance at the nationals this year, but as her own coach said, she still has next year. Sure, Namsu lost her friend, her lover, and will transfer schools, but she will grow, we all do, the emotions she conveyed will forever last, if not to joy, to other women she eventually will fall in love to. Hye-Yeon seems doubtful of Joy's feelings, but exactly like lust, she doesn't care. She has Joy, and that's what matters. She will forever be on Joy's side, because having Joy for herself is more important than Joy's well-being. And Joy, the girl who had multiple opportunities to choose, decided to throw away her true love, the one that truly cared about her, over someone she feels is superficial, someone who only really cares about themself, and thus, I'd say Joy had the worst ending by far. I'm not saying she's innocent, but I disagree when it comes to people saying the author was too rough on Namsu, or that Joy went unpunished. The manga clears something to us very soon into it, Namsu has a future, moreso than the other two. She has the capacity to compete with the nation's best, and she's still on her first year of high-school.

Joy and Hye-Yeon are destined to end, Hye-Yeon's feelings are but a passing wave of pleasure that plagues Joy's memories. Joy will be scarred by this, and will possibly never find what she found on her date with Namsu, and Hye-Yeon, without Joy, has nothing as stated in her backstory, she's dependant on a fragile and insecure relationship that will result in Joy's traumas only growing stronger

 

[bernkastelmiracle]

What was I supposed to feel bad and supportive of Joy in the last chapter? She literally chose this ending lol

Poly route is already almost impossible but it certainly doesn't help if only one party knows you want poly. Because then it isn't poly. It's just cheating!

 

[luckyvii7]

People say the ending is shallow or too sudden, and technically it may be, but from context clues I can guarantee you this is a terrible end for Joy

Hi, I'm Lenightmare, a lesbian trans woman. I'm unemployed. Also my ADHD tests (which y'all should do) says I'm supposedly very good at interpreting things. I don't think this is enough to legitimize what I'm about to write, but whatever, I think y'all need a better explanation of what happened

In the story, we're introduced to our three characters, Joy, Namsu and Hye-Yeon. Even though Joy is the titular character, it becomes clear we're not exactly following her perspective, the entire manga takes place in Namsu's and Hye-Yeon's view of what happened, and thus it's hard for people to understand exactly what's going on with Joy, but hopefully through reading this you can understand her better, and see just how much miserable she's become by the end.

One very important character that barely appears is Hye-Gyung, if this were a literature classic, she probably wouldn't even exist, but the author, consciously or not, decided not having a character like this would make things even more confusing. Hye-Gyung isn't a character exactly, she's more of a part of Joy, a fragment of her consciousness, that comes up to remind her just how important this moment is. In the first chapter, Hye-Gyung asks if Joy is thinking of her boyfriend, an early sign that Joy may think of Hye-Yeon as a potential partner. After that, we're introduced to Namsu, and a similar situation happens with Namsu's coach, finally giving us the main gist of the manga.

We start by seeing Namsu's view of things, how she's clearly in love but unsure of what these feelings actually are. She sees Hye-Yeon take advances on Joy, both casually and more intimately and feels uneasy, finally understanding that she isn't okay with Joy maintaining their relationship as just friends. Hye-Yeon helps her understand that a lesbian relationship is okay, and she, through her struggles with running, discovers the toll of the uncertainty that is Joy dating someone else.

Once more, Hye-Gyung comes in to help make things clearer. She motivates Namsu to be true to her feelings, to not be afraid to tell Joy just how much she loves her and the intentions she has. By this point, Joy is still clueless as to what's happening, Namsu's running time is being directly affected by her feelings, and if she doesn't act quick, Namsu won't be able to participate in the nationals. Joy, after cheering Namsu, goes to the classroom with Hye-Yeon, and this is the first scene I think a lot of people neglected to analyse. This is one of the most important scenes in the whole manga, not for Namsu, but for Joy.

In that classroom, Joy, whose feelings were still being developed, discovers lust, pleasure, and the excitement of a sexually active relationship. It's in this moment she starts to desire Hye-Yeon, not when they first met, not when they got separated, not when they kissed (although that did show her a glimpse of what was to come), but now, during their more intimate moment in the classroom.

Chapter 9 is when Joy finally understands just what she's gotten into. Her classmate explains to her Namsu's underperforming runs, and that she couldn't be ignored anymore. Hye-Gyung the goat comes once again to clarify things, and tells Joy she has a choice to make. Here, Hye-Gyung not only represents Joy's consciousness and the sudden realization that she needs to choose one, but also the pressure from the students. It's clear Namsu likes Joy, and the students want Joy to date Namsu just to improve her times, thus giving her a legitimate chance to win the nationals.

Hye-Gyung, once again acting as Joy's consciousness, asks Joy if she made a choice, which Joy responds vaguely. Joy herself is unsure of her choice, but still acts cheerfully and moves on, blinded by her desire to keep things as they are. She has a talk with Namsu over their feelings for one another and Joy decides to date Namsu. I want this to be very clear, at this moment, Joy hasn't actually figured out her feelings for Namsu, even though later, when we're shown her thought process behind her decision, she says she likes them both. She's moved by Namsu's feelings, and wants to reciprocate it, but she's not really sure of her feelings just yet, she is dating Namsu merely because of the pressure the school is putting on her, and the worries she has as shown by her saying in chapter 23 she doesn't want her to feel lonely. This backfires immensely, but we'll get there when we get there

Chapter 12 shows us the dreaded scene, but with a few parts censored as to not spoil those who didn't figure out joy just yet. The following chapters are focused on Namsu working on her jealousy and envy. Joy says she doesn't want Namsu to publicly announce their relationship because she's worried of the social pressure she'll suffer, but truth be told, the two of them getting together is exactly what people want. It improves Namsu's times, giving her the chance to go to the nationals.

Chapter 14 and 15, just like the classroom scene, are two of the most important chapters in the whole manga. Joy and Namsu go on their first and only date. It's here that Joy discovers the intimacy of pure love, the happiness that walking and talking with the person she loves conveys, which is very different from the instant pleasure of lust. In the night that follows, Joy, influenced by Hye-Yeon's forwardness, asks Namsu to have sex, and Namsu refuses, as they just got dating, which is fair, but not enough for Joy. The mere concept of a relationship to Joy is entangled by lust, by the immediate pleasure and carnal feeling that sex offers, and, after receiving a call from Hye-Yeon, decides to go check on her to see what's wrong, and they end up having sex.

We see Hye-Yeon's backstory, how she came to conclude she loves Joy, and how she became so sexually active. This is made to legitimize her feelings to the readers, showing that what Joy is doing is not only hurting Namsu, but Hye-Yeon herself. Chapter 21 may seem laid back, but it shows us a bit of what Joy is thinking. Joy is dating the two of them as if she's dating a single person. On one side, we have Hye-Yeon, who showed her the pleasures of lust, the feeling of being physically wanted, and on the other side we have Namsu, who showed her lust isn't everything there is to it, the pure feeling of loving each other without necessarily wanting sex is new but exciting to Joy, and by choosing the two of them, she feels as if she can have both sides of the coin, seeing as each one provides something that the other side can't.

as I mentioned previously, chapter 23 shows a bit of what's going on in Joy's mind during the time she had to make a choice. As we've come to understand, she concludes that dating both of them is the only solution, seeing as choosing one will leave the other lonely. We're also shown that Hye-Yeon is purposefully showing herself with Joy more as to convey the feeling they're intimate to their classmates. Hye-Yeon understands the choice Joy did, but feels it's not enough, she can't be satisfied having part of Joy, so she tries what she cans to get her fully. Rumors spread, and Namsu is told Joy and Hye-yeon were seen kissing in school.

Back in chapter 22, Namsu confronts Joy about these rumors, stating she wants joy to be faithful, which Joy responds aggresively, claiming she should be more sexually active with her, and the chapter ends with Namsu promising Joy to have sex with her after she gets the medal, to which Joy feels proud. This is a very big promise, Namsu essentially said she'll become the country's greatest high-school runner and get a medal just for Joy. In her mind, Joy is still tainted by her desires, lust still plagues her definition of a relationship, but hearing such big promise moves her, the feelings conveyed by Namsu's words are strong, and it's going to affect her, you'll see how.

Back to the present, Joy, having taken a picture with Hye-Yeon after they had sex, accidentally sends it to Namsu, resulting in disaster. The three of them have a confrontation, and this scene is full of context clues of what is going on in Joy's mind. Here, Namsu and Hye-Yeon aren't just representing themselves, but also Joy's mind. Namsu, which is the part of Joy that understood the feeling of being loved and not just physically wanted, is disgusted by what Joy is doing, and feels the other party is corrupting her, hurting them all in the process. Meanwhile, Hye-Yeon, which is the part of Joy that sides with the immediate pleasure of sex, gives empty excuses, stating Namsu isn't present enough for Joy, which is a very flawed argument considering she knew that Namsu was going through a lot, and still decided to date her. That's all this part of Joy can do, lie to herself, give flawed explanations to what she's doing, being dishonest. Joy foolishly follows Hye-Yeon's offensive, and as we're about to see, this forever affects her.

After this experience, Namsu falls off the stairs and sprains her ankle, disqualifying her from the nationals. I think this is where people feel the author went overboard, and I understand that. It's as if Namsu is being punished for merely doing what Joy allowed her to do, innocently. She didn't do anything wrong, so why is she being punished? Once again, Namsu, in taking that fall, is also representing her side of Joy's consciousness. Joy is finally aware of what she just did. By ending her girlfriend's dream, she hurt everyone in the process. Hye-Yeon and Namsu fought, Hye-Yeon felt conflicted from the beginning, and Namsu's first year in high-school is forever changed, and now, Joy finally notices what she subconsciously noticed a long time ago, that Hye-Yeon couldn't give her what Namsu gave, the feeling of pure love, the feeling of being wanted not just for carnal acts, but for respect and well-being.

This, I think, is where most people fail to understand exactly what the author is conveying. The last few scenes are of Hye-Yeon's uncertainty and insecurity of Joy's reciprocate love. This isn't to punish Hye-Yeon, not directly at least, this is to show Joy is now incomplete. She will forever think of her mistakes, the pure love she abandoned in favor of a shallow, fading carnal feeling. The last scene is of Joy seeing Namsu's pictures, crying, and asking if Hye-Yeon will always be by her side. By asking this, Joy is reminding herself of the future she chose, how she chose sex over love, how she will probably never have this feeling with Hye-Yeon, or heck, ever again. It's in this final moment that Joy realises, Namsu loved her, really loved her, and she loved her too. What started as pity and societal pressure ended up being legitimate feelings, feelings that will never fade, and will never settle.

In the end, bellow Namsu, bellow Hye-Yeon, we find Joy. A girl who picked the immediate pleasure, the present, over the future, the forever lasting love. Sure, Namsu lost her chance at the nationals this year, but as her own coach said, she still has next year. Sure, Namsu lost her friend, her lover, and will transfer schools, but she will grow, we all do, the emotions she conveyed will forever last, if not to joy, to other women she eventually will fall in love to. Hye-Yeon seems doubtful of Joy's feelings, but exactly like lust, she doesn't care. She has Joy, and that's what matters. She will forever be on Joy's side, because having Joy for herself is more important than Joy's well-being. And Joy, the girl who had multiple opportunities to choose, decided to throw away her true love, the one that truly cared about her, over someone she feels is superficial, someone who only really cares about themself, and thus, I'd say Joy had the worst ending by far. I'm not saying she's innocent, but I disagree when it comes to people saying the author was too rough on Namsu, or that Joy went unpunished. The manga clears something to us very soon into it, Namsu has a future, moreso than the other two. She has the capacity to compete with the nation's best, and she's still on her first year of high-school.

Joy and Hye-Yeon are destined to end, Hye-Yeon's feelings are but a passing wave of pleasure that plagues Joy's memories. Joy will be scarred by this, and will possibly never find what she found on her date with Namsu, and Hye-Yeon, without Joy, has nothing as stated in her backstory, she's dependant on a fragile and insecure relationship that will result in Joy's traumas only growing stronger

Also trans lesbian and thank you for analyzing this story so well. Your thoughts on it really helped me wrap my head around the whole situation much better.

I just finished reading it last night and felt so upset about it. Part of me knew something was up the whole way through, but I was too hopeful things could end well between the 3 of them.

This story was really well done, hurt like hell, but showed a girl's difficult decision and her inability to navigate it in a healthy way U-U;