@korra_lover Thanks for the chapter but I couldn't read that font the whole way through. That said I can appreciate the struggle of translating and editing (especially from a second hand translation) when you're not used to it since I had a pretty rough start with Machigatta (although i think i've gotten a bit better by chapter 9/10). I've found it's actually kinda fun to improve each chapter though.
I had someone send me a helpful list of font choices here http://prettyanonymo.us/index.php/scanlation-resources/ . You can usually find the fonts for free if you search a bit.
For translation I find it helps not to translate it too literally. Re-read your initial translation and try to say the same thing in a way that flows better in English, using less clunky synonyms, restructuring sentences etc. (From one amateur Jap-spanish-english translator to another, no matter how well you do there will be things lost in translation)
Still your chapter is probably superior to my first attempt especially since you had a ton of text overlaying art vs speech bubbles.