Nozomanu Fushi no Boukensha - Vol. 7 Ch. 31 - Her Hopes
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So Knight Guy's Little Sister, Loraine, Sheila, Vampire loli and now Saintess joins the mix.
My guy slowly building his harem
My guy slowly building his harem
This definitely has better quality from before.
But have to agree with some others. There are definitely some weird wordings here and there. Not much a complaint but just trying to say there things that can be improved.
Thanks for your hard work!
But have to agree with some others. There are definitely some weird wordings here and there. Not much a complaint but just trying to say there things that can be improved.
Thanks for your hard work!
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Thank you very much !~~
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@MissMystery
This chapter is better than last time, but still sounds pretty strange, like if written/edited by a non-native.
I won't claim to be native but here's some things that sounded weird to me.
page 6:
"determine" sounds really out of place here. Maybe you should use a word like "judge" or "check"
page 8:
"I received it as One bronze request" -> "as a One bronze request" (pretty sure it's "a" because One starts with a consonant sound, but I could be wrong)
page 9:
"you shall be thankful" -> "you should be thankful"
page 12:
"I still yet have to ask" should be either "yet, I still have to ask" or "I still have yet to ask" depending on what you actually mean by it.
It's probably the second case. If so, I'd either drop the still ("I have yet to ask") or just word it like a normal person: "I still haven't asked" or "I haven't asked (her about x) yet"
page 13:
"depends on her willingness and dedication, she can" should be either "depending on (...)" or "it depends on (...), but she can"
page 15:
"make a room" you probably mean "make room", but that doesn't really fit here either. Should probably just reword to "give me and Alice some time to discuss it further"
page 18:
"it must be difficult decision" -> "a difficult decision"
"do you think she will permit her" permit sounds a tad formal, maybe allow would be better here. Unless it's also very formal in the raw, of course.
"their bounds" -> "their bonds"
"the same level as the mother and child's" -> "the same level as (one between) a mother and her child"
on page 26:
"for the evangelization of the citizen" should be either citizens or citizenry
"please do not speak with these words when we arrived at the city" -> arrive
"uppers" sounds very strange, should probably be "higher-ups", unless there's a specific reason to use it
This chapter is better than last time, but still sounds pretty strange, like if written/edited by a non-native.
I won't claim to be native but here's some things that sounded weird to me.
page 6:
"determine" sounds really out of place here. Maybe you should use a word like "judge" or "check"
page 8:
"I received it as One bronze request" -> "as a One bronze request" (pretty sure it's "a" because One starts with a consonant sound, but I could be wrong)
page 9:
"you shall be thankful" -> "you should be thankful"
page 12:
"I still yet have to ask" should be either "yet, I still have to ask" or "I still have yet to ask" depending on what you actually mean by it.
It's probably the second case. If so, I'd either drop the still ("I have yet to ask") or just word it like a normal person: "I still haven't asked" or "I haven't asked (her about x) yet"
page 13:
"depends on her willingness and dedication, she can" should be either "depending on (...)" or "it depends on (...), but she can"
page 15:
"make a room" you probably mean "make room", but that doesn't really fit here either. Should probably just reword to "give me and Alice some time to discuss it further"
page 18:
"it must be difficult decision" -> "a difficult decision"
"do you think she will permit her" permit sounds a tad formal, maybe allow would be better here. Unless it's also very formal in the raw, of course.
"their bounds" -> "their bonds"
"the same level as the mother and child's" -> "the same level as (one between) a mother and her child"
on page 26:
"for the evangelization of the citizen" should be either citizens or citizenry
"please do not speak with these words when we arrived at the city" -> arrive
"uppers" sounds very strange, should probably be "higher-ups", unless there's a specific reason to use it
It's really obvious that English isn't your first language. The quality of your text ranges from awkward and unnatural to simply incorrect in places. I strongly advise you to get an editor. Preferably a native English speaker, or at least someone with a high level grasp of English. Obviously they don't have to be a professional, I'm sure you can find someone in this comment section or on the forums.
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oh great it's the church
cue that one particular hellsing abridged scene
cue that one particular hellsing abridged scene
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Why do so many mangas have chapters that occasionally get uploaded more than once, with the previous version no where to he seen? Is it because the original chapter uploaded was a sniped chapter or something?
@AkiTooru
I don't want to insult your efforts, but a person who isn't sure on how to correct something, should think twice before attempting to do so. This is nowhere near the level of help the scanlator needs. Most of their sentences need to be completely reworked to sound natural, not just have a word or two changed. You also missed a lot of mistakes, yet your corrections might create a false impression for the scanlator that the mentioned pages don't have any other errors, which is false. The scale of work needed to fix everything is why I didn't even attempt it myself. It's a genuine project to do so and could take up to an hour of solid work.
I don't want to insult your efforts, but a person who isn't sure on how to correct something, should think twice before attempting to do so. This is nowhere near the level of help the scanlator needs. Most of their sentences need to be completely reworked to sound natural, not just have a word or two changed. You also missed a lot of mistakes, yet your corrections might create a false impression for the scanlator that the mentioned pages don't have any other errors, which is false. The scale of work needed to fix everything is why I didn't even attempt it myself. It's a genuine project to do so and could take up to an hour of solid work.
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Let’s get the fact that our doc also had the same feeling when he flew the toy airship, it’s a mans dream, lmao....xDDDD
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Yikes
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@SeryjVolk
Yes, the script needs much more work than just those changes.
I had just skimmed most the pages and was going to mention only a couple things on the last two pages. Yet, as I looked at the previous pages I ended up noticing more and more mistakes, but I stopped myself from giving it a more thorough look because I don't want to sink even more time into this thing.
What I pointed out was also mostly in-place changes because anything more would require either contacting the translator or looking at the raw directly to know if they actually intended the sentences to be formal or informal, if there's anything that's actually supposed to be weirdly specific in the raw, etc.
Yes, the script needs much more work than just those changes.
I had just skimmed most the pages and was going to mention only a couple things on the last two pages. Yet, as I looked at the previous pages I ended up noticing more and more mistakes, but I stopped myself from giving it a more thorough look because I don't want to sink even more time into this thing.
What I pointed out was also mostly in-place changes because anything more would require either contacting the translator or looking at the raw directly to know if they actually intended the sentences to be formal or informal, if there's anything that's actually supposed to be weirdly specific in the raw, etc.
