Oi, Hazure Skill da to Omowareteita "Cheat Code Sousa" ga Bakemono Sugirun da ga - Ch. 11
- Thread starter MangaDex
- Start date
Okay, you can't call this manga good by any means, but it is kind of a shame that it just keeps getting targeted by MTL 'plz go donate to my kofi!!!' groups that could really use a lot more PR. I'm going to bet that in less than an hour I can do enough proofreading to cover this chapter.
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Half an hour, aw yeah
SPECIFIC PANELS
2.2 - 'that fang' -> 'those fangs' - scans better
4.1 - 'strong again' -> 'even stronger' - ditto
4.3 - Kind of wonky typesetting on that first bubble.
4.3 - 'stronger and 'stronger' isn't really an emphasis that's common in English so it comes across a bit odd. Technically correct, but too literal -> 'even stronger'
4.3 - 'even if' -> 'even though'. 'you seems' -> 'you seem'.
4.5 - 'Because' -> 'That's because'. Also, since he's talking about a new ability's positive trait, 'only five seconds' should probably just be 'five seconds' because otherwise it sounds kind of negative. I suspect this was '秒だけ' and it got translated too literally.
5.2 - 'These are' -> 'That's'. Also Arios has probably heard of the word 'exceptional' so the second bubble would be better as 'I wouldn't say that'.
7.4 - It's kind of darkly funny that the MTL starts getting it right just as the slave shows up. I suspect she's saying the crest is that of the Aldo family, unless she recognizes all the slaves by sight.
10 - Wait, why did the typesetting and font change?
10.5 - 'she have' -> 'she has', 'what kind of life have she walked' -> 'what kind of life has she led' or 'what kind of things has she suffered' is better for tone.
10.6 -
H
m
m
.
.
.
12 - Oh the other font's back again. Okay.
14.2 - 'Everyone looked at me, then went away all the same' -> This feels really wonky in how literally it's translated and it took me a while to figure out that she's saying 'no-one else would help her, they just left her alone (because of her crest)'. You could just word it that way, or fix it up depending on her speech patterns.
14.4 - One thing you've been doing well with that a lot of MTL translations don't is making sure to include punctuation. It's really common for a lot of them to just leave it out, which is why it's a shame that there's a couple of speech bubbles that still miss them - they stand out.
16.2 - 'Sniff' -> I'd either snip this entirely or put it just outside the bubble as a small sound effect.
16.3 - 'Eufeas' -> I figured this is Aldo's name. Easy enough to double-check this by going to Reset Scans' site and looking at the oldest available chapters to find 'Yufearth Aldo' on one page. I'm not saying 'just go steal another group's translation' in any way, but I think it's fine to check things like proper nouns or odd blobs of katakana just so that you have context for your translation.
18.2 - 'you was' -> 'you were', 'you're beating' -> 'you've beaten'
20.3/4 - Not really sure how I feel about the notes, but you should try to make them consistent in terms of punctuation.
From here on out there's less to note, or it's stuff I've mostly already covered...
26.1 - 'How about it' -> Some repetition here with the next bubble. I'd just cut it or at least do 'How about this', which scans better in English.
27.3 - 'it's difficult just as I thought' -> doesn't scan right in English. 'Just as I thought, it'll be difficult' flows better.
29.1 - 'the Aldo household's spy' -> 'an Aldo household spy'. I mean I guess every house has spies? But still, scans a bit better this way.
30.1 - 'a skilled opponents' -> 'a skilled opponent' or 'opponents'
30.3 - 'approaching' -> I think this is meant to be 'closing in on them'. He says they've noticed him, so they're aware he's approaching, but the point of this panel is that he's narrowing the distance.
31.3 - Stunningly, 'the Arceus Salvation League' appears to be completely correct. Man.
SPECIFIC PANELS
2.2 - 'that fang' -> 'those fangs' - scans better
4.1 - 'strong again' -> 'even stronger' - ditto
4.3 - Kind of wonky typesetting on that first bubble.
4.3 - 'stronger and 'stronger' isn't really an emphasis that's common in English so it comes across a bit odd. Technically correct, but too literal -> 'even stronger'
4.3 - 'even if' -> 'even though'. 'you seems' -> 'you seem'.
4.5 - 'Because' -> 'That's because'. Also, since he's talking about a new ability's positive trait, 'only five seconds' should probably just be 'five seconds' because otherwise it sounds kind of negative. I suspect this was '秒だけ' and it got translated too literally.
5.2 - 'These are' -> 'That's'. Also Arios has probably heard of the word 'exceptional' so the second bubble would be better as 'I wouldn't say that'.
7.4 - It's kind of darkly funny that the MTL starts getting it right just as the slave shows up. I suspect she's saying the crest is that of the Aldo family, unless she recognizes all the slaves by sight.
10 - Wait, why did the typesetting and font change?
10.5 - 'she have' -> 'she has', 'what kind of life have she walked' -> 'what kind of life has she led' or 'what kind of things has she suffered' is better for tone.
10.6 -
H
m
m
.
.
.
12 - Oh the other font's back again. Okay.
14.2 - 'Everyone looked at me, then went away all the same' -> This feels really wonky in how literally it's translated and it took me a while to figure out that she's saying 'no-one else would help her, they just left her alone (because of her crest)'. You could just word it that way, or fix it up depending on her speech patterns.
14.4 - One thing you've been doing well with that a lot of MTL translations don't is making sure to include punctuation. It's really common for a lot of them to just leave it out, which is why it's a shame that there's a couple of speech bubbles that still miss them - they stand out.
16.2 - 'Sniff' -> I'd either snip this entirely or put it just outside the bubble as a small sound effect.
16.3 - 'Eufeas' -> I figured this is Aldo's name. Easy enough to double-check this by going to Reset Scans' site and looking at the oldest available chapters to find 'Yufearth Aldo' on one page. I'm not saying 'just go steal another group's translation' in any way, but I think it's fine to check things like proper nouns or odd blobs of katakana just so that you have context for your translation.
18.2 - 'you was' -> 'you were', 'you're beating' -> 'you've beaten'
20.3/4 - Not really sure how I feel about the notes, but you should try to make them consistent in terms of punctuation.
From here on out there's less to note, or it's stuff I've mostly already covered...
26.1 - 'How about it' -> Some repetition here with the next bubble. I'd just cut it or at least do 'How about this', which scans better in English.
27.3 - 'it's difficult just as I thought' -> doesn't scan right in English. 'Just as I thought, it'll be difficult' flows better.
29.1 - 'the Aldo household's spy' -> 'an Aldo household spy'. I mean I guess every house has spies? But still, scans a bit better this way.
30.1 - 'a skilled opponents' -> 'a skilled opponent' or 'opponents'
30.3 - 'approaching' -> I think this is meant to be 'closing in on them'. He says they've noticed him, so they're aware he's approaching, but the point of this panel is that he's narrowing the distance.
31.3 - Stunningly, 'the Arceus Salvation League' appears to be completely correct. Man.
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