Onban Kikou - Vol. 1 Ch. 1 - Recollection Record

[MangaDex]

 

[Touko1010]

Thank you for your translation ❤️

 

[brainman]

I don't even remember bookmarking this, but I don't regret it. Nice, slightly melancholic read.

 

[yarrayora]

oh wow the first chapter already feels like a finished one shot, makes me curious where this is going to go
thanks not only for the translation but also the tl note explaining your process!

 

[ZaidValRoa]

That was such a nice read. Thank you.

 

[phantomplayer1]

Ahhh I’m so exited someone’s translating this! I’ve been wanting to read it

 

[SUPER7X]

Would've translated “バックヤード” as “Backroom” (or maybe “Back Room”?…) rather than “Storage Room” because バックヤードs apparently aren't always storage rooms and you maintain at least the “back”, but that's minor, I know. Had a couple line break typesetting disagreements too.

Also you maybe kinda imply it, but with all those translation notes I figured you would've explicitly mentioned how the Japanese-given “Record Journey” isn't really a good translation of “音盤紀行” (A more accurate translation would be something like “Record Travelog”.), but it's close enough that I'm kinda like ehhhhh. Idk·. What do you think?

 

[Kushikime]

Thanks for the chapter. It’s interesting

 

[zothique]

oh wow the first chapter already feels like a finished one shot, makes me curious where this is going to go
thanks not only for the translation but also the tl note explaining your process!

Yup, the manga is intended to feel like that. It's often referred to in the magazine and elsewhere as a "one-shot series" (読み切シリーズ). Most chapters share some degree of connection, even if it's not obvious at first; but they also work as standalone stories. If I did chapter 14 next instead of 2, it wouldn't make that much of a difference. But I'll go in order of course.

Would've translated “バックヤード” as “Backroom” (or maybe “Back Room”?…) rather than “Storage Room” because バックヤードs apparently aren't always storage rooms and you maintain at least the “back”, but that's minor, I know. Had a couple line break typesetting disagreements too.

Yeah, they aren't always used for storage, though I settled for it since it seemed to be the case here. However it's partially because I kept thinking about how I've only seen 'backroom' used for internet memes these past few years, which is a bit dumb... But 'back room' separated definitely works, and it gives it more of a distinction with the warehouse. I'll update it tomorrow.

Also you maybe kinda imply it, but with all those translation notes I figured you would've explicitly mentioned how the Japanese-given “Record Journey” isn't really a good translation of “音盤紀行” (A more accurate translation would be something like “Record Travelog”.), but it's close enough that I'm kinda like ehhhhh. Idk·. What do you think?

True, but often times these "official" English titles aren't so much translations as they are 'alternative' (?) titles. (Like 森薫拾遺集 - Anything and Something by Kaoru Mori). Here it's on the bottom of most pages, next to the page number; and on the cover, index, 'database' pages... it's often used in place of the Japanese title, not alongside it. It even gives me the impression that the author prefers it - but also needs a Japanese title since the audience is Japanese. I can’t really go against it. Either way, while "紀行" is closer to 'travel log', I actually feel like the "Record" part can serve a double meaning - as in music record, and in keeping a record - even if might not have been intended. But you're right that it's probably worth mentioning though. Possibly in a future chapter, there were more things I wanted to get into, but I didn't want to make the notes even longer...

 

[SUPER7X]

It even gives me the impression that the author prefers it - but also needs a Japanese title since the audience is Japanese.

This is an interesting idea I hadn't considered before in this context. In other words: “What if the Japanese title is actually the bad translation?”. Hmmmmmm. This is why official translators being able to reliably consult with authors is so important. They can just ask them their intentions!

Actually, this has jogged my memory. Something like this is known to have happened with The Ghost in the Shell. Shirow Masamune wanted the title to be “The Ghost in the Shell”, as a reference to The Ghost in the Machine, but his editor thought that that wasn't flashy enough, so Shirow created “攻殻機動隊” (literally “Assault Shell Riot Police” or “Assault Shell Mobile Squad” depending upon how domesticational/foreignizational we're being), giving the series 2 titles. Now, this is distinct from your suspicion about this series because The Ghost in the Shell's 2 titles are completely disperate, whereas if “Record Journey” is the main title, “音盤紀行” is at least somewhat approximating it, but regardless, it shows that what you're saying isn't implausible at all. Much to think about.

I actually feel like the "Record" part can serve a double meaning - as in music record, and in keeping a record - even if might not have been intended.

Somehow I missed this. Gotta be intentional, right?

 

[zothique]

Actually, this has jogged my memory. Something like this is known to have happened with Ghost in the Shell. Shirou Masamune wanted the title to be “Ghost in the Shell”, as a reference to The Ghost in the Machine, but his editor thought that that wasn't flashy enough, so Shirou created “攻殻機動隊” (literally “Assault Shell Riot Police” or “Assault Shell Mobile Squad” depending upon how domesticational/foreignizational we're being), giving the series 2 titles.

Interesting! I didn't know that, thanks.

As for whether the title thing is intentional... it's like you said, we can only guess. But I do think he has a decent grasp of English though, (at least better than the average manga author) given his experience with 'foreign' music amongst other things.

 

[Angry_Panda]

This was fun - looking forward to the other stories as well. Thanks for this! (And as a... I don't want to say 'record collector,' since that has a connotation I dislike somewhat, but 'a guy with over 2000 albums,' Japanese record culture is just different enough from here in the US to be a bit foreign in a very interesting way.)

A couple of covers spotted on the chapter cover (page 2):
Miyama's holding a copy of Led Zeppelin's first album (back cover)
Just behind Mayana's head is Blue Cheer's Vincebus Eruptum (their first album)
Just in front of her head is the Eagles' Hotel California
The one left of that (the sandwich) is Sand's self titled debut
On the shelves on the wall:
Top shelf has Help by The Beatles (second from right)
Second shelf second from right is Elvis Costello's My Aim Is True (his debut solo album)
There are a bunch of others up there (and the one to the right of Miyama) that look familiar, but the problem with good cover design is that it gets copied, so it's hard to pin down some of them.

 

[74HC595]

Comfy story. I assume the chapters will be seperate interactions with the record shop, if so I hope old characters will return on occasion. The feeling of an interconnected subculture community is one I don’t often see expressed in this sort of slice of life story.