Reasonably Bizarre Chess

[Aluminium_Spaghetti]

Same premise set by @Blocky_Mudkip, with the following additions to the rules:

• Pieces move the same way they do in Chess.
• One move per comment.
• You can only move one piece in one move(except for castling).
• Loopholes are perfectly legal

If there are any rule disputes, @Angry_Panda gets the final say. If he says it's legal, it is.
(Too lazy to get the image to start the game myself)
Edit: Though I am lazy, and on mobile, I'd appreciate if someone would start a game.

 

[EOTFOFYL]

Some contemplation,
Too dumb to make fancy plays,
Move Pawn to D4

 

[Aluminium_Spaghetti]

Some agonizing,
Too tired to think smartly,
Black pawn to D5

 

[Doedoel]

I summon an oreo biscuit on... i dunno. H5.

 

[Aluminium_Spaghetti]

I summon an oreo biscuit on... i dunno. H5.

What kind of Oreo biscuit?

 

[Doedoel]

This one.

 

[Aluminium_Spaghetti]

This one.

I mean what kind of chess piece is the Oreo biscuit?

 

[Doedoel]

Blasphemous Rook

 

[Aluminium_Spaghetti]

Hmm... Oreo biscuit takes h2.

 

[Aluminium_Spaghetti]

I'll be sleeping soon, feel free to the game without me. It will give me something to look forward to in the morning, so it will be less horrible. I hate mornings.

 

[solstice258]

♜	♞	♝	♛	♚	♝	♞	♜
	♟	♟		♟	♟	♟	♟
.
			♟
			♙
.
♙	♙	♙		♙	♙	♙	♙
♖	♘	♗	♕	♔	♗	♘	♖

I don't know much about chess

 

[Doedoel]

OREO TO.... A B C D D5!!!! BEEEP BEEEEEEP

 

[Aluminium_Spaghetti]

I declare @BakedBanana to be king of the black kingdom! Long live King Banana! As one of King Banana's loyal subjects(rook on A8), I humbly request an up to date map on the war efforts. May King Banana reign forever.

 

[solstice258]

♜	♞	♝	♛	♚ (🍊)	♝	♞	♜
	♟	♟		♟	♟	♟	♟
			♙
.
♙	♙	♙		♙	♙	♙	♙
♖	♘	♗	♕		♗	♘

I, a mere servant of King Orange, update the map and move about confusedly.

 

[BakedBanana]

I declare @BakedBanana to be king of the black kingdom! Long live King Banana! As one of King Banana's loyal subjects(rook on A8), I humbly request an up to date map on the war efforts. May King Banana reign forever.

♜	♞	♝	♛	♚ (🍊)	♝	♞	♜
	♟	♟		♟	♟	♟	♟
			♙
.
♙	♙	♙		♙	♙	♙	♙
♖	♘	♗	♕		♗	♘

I, a mere servant of King Orange, update the map and move about confusedly.

 

[Doedoel]

I command the Oreo to hit the nae nae and self implode