Red Blue - Vol. 3 Ch. 23 - Predictions and Checkmates

[danbellucci]

This choreography doesn't make sense. the positions they're in when the arm triangle was released means the other guy would easily be able to see main character trying to put his right arm around his neck. The panel before shows the main character spinning, and yet the other guy ends up in the right side guillotine, so he'd have to spin 360 degrees or something which would be too slow and doesn't make sense.
Going for someone's back doesn't mean you become unable to see how the other guy is moving.
Also, after the main character somehow gets a guillotine , it shows hte more experienced guy with both his arms just resting on the floor going "grrr" while the main characters legs are lying uselessly on the ground. Any experienced grappler would instantly start trying to jump/cartwheel/highstep/handstand across main character's body where the guillotine is mostly useless, so the only way a guillotine would work is if at the same time as sinking the guilltoine the main character locked up closed guard or had at least one leg over the guy's back to prevent him getting across the main characters body.
Going for someone's back doesn't mean you become unable to see how the other guy is moving.
I wouldn't be so pedantic but a learner beating an experienced grappler going serious almost never happens unless there's a big physicality/athleticism difference, so if you're going to write that happening in the story you need to actually try to make it convincing.
this is very unconvincing

 

[Sigilbreaker26]

This choreography doesn't make sense. the positions they're in when the arm triangle was released means the other guy would easily be able to see main character trying to put his right arm around his neck. The panel before shows the main character spinning, and yet the other guy ends up in the right side guillotine, so he'd have to spin 360 degrees or something which would be too slow and doesn't make sense.
Going for someone's back doesn't mean you become unable to see how the other guy is moving.
Also, after the main character somehow gets a guillotine , it shows hte more experienced guy with both his arms just resting on the floor going "grrr" while the main characters legs are lying uselessly on the ground. Any experienced grappler would instantly start trying to jump/cartwheel/highstep/handstand across main character's body where the guillotine is mostly useless, so the only way a guillotine would work is if at the same time as sinking the guilltoine the main character locked up closed guard or had at least one leg over the guy's back to prevent him getting across the main characters body.
Going for someone's back doesn't mean you become unable to see how the other guy is moving.
I wouldn't be so pedantic but a learner beating an experienced grappler going serious almost never happens unless there's a big physicality/athleticism difference, so if you're going to write that happening in the story you need to actually try to make it convincing.
this is very unconvincing

The next chapter solves almost all of your issues with this one.

Spoiler: For Next Chapter

Aoba immediately gets his legs over Amachi's back next chapter, Amachi taps and later says if he tried his hardest he could have gotten out of it but said that getting caught like that at all (i.e. having to grapple seriously) represents his defeat because his entire point was that he was trying to avoid stress. Aoba's difference was that he read Amachi's movements and did an unexpected counter. Is it particularly high percentage to go for that spin? No, but it could have worked, especially if Amachi underestimated Aoba, which he did.