@Syavoir Eh, he never pretended he's not a killer anymore, just because he hasn't killed since the Bakumatsu. He knows he'll be a killer till the day he dies. He merely decided not to kill anymore, as he'd like to believe more killing won't help the nation to make progress. However, for him personally, nothing would change even if he needed to kill again, since he's a killer already. He's not seeking personal redemption. His only fear is that if he again starts killing, he won't be able to stop. Or maybe that's just how those close to him believe. Who knows.