- Joined
- Dec 2, 2024
- Messages
- 1
This manga hit me really hard since I myself had a younger sister who would behave towards me as if she was the older sibling. We were close, but I really feel like, in retrospective, I have always cared less for her than she cared for me. There were lots of times where I was unnecessarily cruel or indifferent towards her, and I feel like I never really took too much interest in what she thought, but was instead caught up in my own sorrows and burdened her with having to put up with my whining. In reality, she was the person who understood me the most, having been around me all the time, raised under the same roof with all its problems. Life has always been a drag with all our hardships and honest negligence on part of our parents, but I feel like I really did make her life a little bit worse while it lasted.
She's been dead for four years now. At first I couldn't process it at all, it didn't really hit me. I hardly cried, even; I've been emotionally numb since. It is just now that I have started thinking about it all the time, about all the things I did wrong and what I'd do different if I could go back with all the things that I know now. I wish I could go back and ask her what things she liked and take interest in it, ask her what her aspirations were. Alas, to my knowledge there is no way to go back. I have lost something irrecoverable which I will never have back. Makes me feel really empty inside thinking about how I will never ever ever ever ever have her back, nor ever have any relationship that is even remotely similar to what I had with her with anyone else; it just is like that with siblings.
I relate on a deep level with a lot of the conflict in this manga. That being said, I must clarify that I did not like her like that, nor do I fantasize with what an hypothetical romantic relationship with her would've been like. I do not want to be misunderstood.
She's been dead for four years now. At first I couldn't process it at all, it didn't really hit me. I hardly cried, even; I've been emotionally numb since. It is just now that I have started thinking about it all the time, about all the things I did wrong and what I'd do different if I could go back with all the things that I know now. I wish I could go back and ask her what things she liked and take interest in it, ask her what her aspirations were. Alas, to my knowledge there is no way to go back. I have lost something irrecoverable which I will never have back. Makes me feel really empty inside thinking about how I will never ever ever ever ever have her back, nor ever have any relationship that is even remotely similar to what I had with her with anyone else; it just is like that with siblings.
I relate on a deep level with a lot of the conflict in this manga. That being said, I must clarify that I did not like her like that, nor do I fantasize with what an hypothetical romantic relationship with her would've been like. I do not want to be misunderstood.
