I can vouch for how painful the tongue splitting is, I have been literally stabbed before, and when I had my tongue split, it was even more painful... I straight up passed out from the pain. But now I have a kinky tongue, so it was worth it.
also the feeling of the blood filling your mouth after the procedure is terrifying, the problem is most "real" doctors refuse to do it, so you have to go to sketchy people who don't have a license to use anesthetic