Saving 80,000 Gold Coins in the Different World for My Old Age - Vol. 5 Ch. 34 - Reward

[MangaDex]

 

[LygarX]

probably the man in question.

 

[Greenfox]

Probably a bunch of lolicons that want her to get more rewards!

 

[deathsu]

probably the man in question.

probably not since he's in another universe right now

 

[Wolvenworks]

prolly more scummy nobles. those are a dime a dozen

 

[Hoezell]

So many words eaten on translation

 

[Aichan]

Guys, it's just the tooth fairy. Nothing to get worked up about.

 

[Thranyx]

OBJECTION!
I think it's the rewarded person himself!

 

[Thoughtgap]

These manga partitions have a bad tendency of leaving us on fairly low impact yet weirdly compelling cliffhangers..

 

[77BLc9JwJGpLVARkamJx]

>reduce the soldiers number
Grim shit, mass graves ahoy.

 

[purizumu]

why don't she just splash almighty healing potion on the gu-- oh wait wrong manga.

 

[Riztard]

@purizumu 😂😂

 

[CrazyPotato]

 

[saredesu]

 

[Jeirien]

@77BLc9JwJGpLVARkamJx That is a war crime then again another work of the author is potion danomi. Am I seeing a pattern here?

 

[ventisca]

@purizumu why don't she just splash almighty healing potion on the gu-- oh wait wrong manga.

lol 😂
I also thought so, moreover both manga are currently at war arc.

iirc Mitsuha has self-healing ability, doesn't she?

 

[AbuHajaar]

Objection! Off to The Hague with you!

 

[dankdevice]

as Loli Mamoritai's page specifically asks for constructive criticism i'll say now this series is in desperate need of a decent proofreader. since nobody has stepped up after 34 chapters i'll helpfully lay out my issues with and recommendations for this chapter:

Spoiler

SENTENCE FRAGMENTS: this interaction sounds like robots greeting each other. a more natural flow could be
"Here Mitsuha-onee-sama, I have a letter from my father for you"
"Wow, an invitation to the royal palace!"

this whole bubble just feels awkward. im sure there's a better way to rewrite it but with the least changes i might go with
"There are many people lined up for this audience. Well, naturally there are others receiving rewards, but some of the great lords are just here for appearances."

make sure to keep your tenses consistent, these bubbles switch over from past to present tense at random.
"The Lord's armies near the invasion route who fought hard to stall the enemies' advance."
"scouts & messengers…"
"the decisive battle was in front of the main gate…"

another awkward sounding bubble. this might just have a missing word but could be rephrased to sound more natural
"actually there is one person who should be rewarded before me"
or
"actually there is someone more deserving of rewards than I"

and another awkward sounding speech with more missing words
"he threw himself in front of the bolt that was aimed at commander ice bringer and I"
"a courageous, loyal, young aristocrat"

proper tenses again, even though he is speaking about a past event, he should be speaking in the present tense
"is that so?"

grammar, in this case "dead" would be an adjective that you are attempting to use as a verb. also this sentence is rather awkward.
"yes, without that person's actions I would be dead now"
or
"yes, if they did not take action I would have died right there"

more missing words & jumbled sentence order.
"although he belongs to our kingdom's aristocratic order..."

to the translator: if you are reading this i appreciate your hard work and would love to see this series really shine! send me a DM or whatever if this helps at all, i am literally an editor IRL & would be happy to proofread & offer suggestions.

 

[lswgamer]

OH BOY IT'S MY FAVORITE, WAR CRIMES!
Because apparently prisoners of war have A B S O L U T E L Y N O R I G H T S.
The author should just learn to chill, this is twice in a row already.

 

[VIVIT]

@dankdevice
translator never reply here (maybe because he don't have an account I guess) so any suggestion do it in the blog