SAVING YOU

[MangaDex]

 

[leviadragon]

The art does steadily get better, but the pacing and communication of information still feel a little disjointed here and there, I occasionally get caught out by wondering if I've missed something, or if part of one chapter wasn't properly uploaded, I can follow the broad strokes, but the author seems to be following the "obscure certain key critical pieces of information" style of longstrip writing, which can work for sustaining a mystery, but it does seem like they're following that approach more because they were inspired by other stories with that structure rather than a strong understanding of the storytelling nuts and bolts that make that approach both coherent and intriguing.

 

[meliapt]

The art does steadily get better, but the pacing and communication of information still feel a little disjointed here and there, I occasionally get caught out by wondering if I've missed something, or if part of one chapter wasn't properly uploaded, I can follow the broad strokes, but the author seems to be following the "obscure certain key critical pieces of information" style of longstrip writing, which can work for sustaining a mystery, but it does seem like they're following that approach more because they were inspired by other stories with that structure rather than a strong understanding of the storytelling nuts and bolts that make that approach both coherent and intriguing.

Thank you so much for your review! I will keep this in mind when further writing the story! 🥹🙏

 

[SLeM9999]

In various places, such as chapter 19, the name of the school is given on the building as being "GoldWall Girl's Private Academy". Chances are that instead that should be "GoldWall Girls' Private Academy" (and possibly even "Goldwall Girls' Private Academy"). Using "Girl's" implies that it is a private academy that belongs to or pertains to one particular girl. Using "Girls'" implies that it is a private academy that belongs to or pertains to multiple girls.

 

[meliapt]

In various places, such as chapter 19, the name of the school is given on the building as being "GoldWall Girl's Private Academy". Chances are that instead that should be "GoldWall Girls' Private Academy" (and possibly even "Goldwall Girls' Private Academy"). Using "Girl's" implies that it is a private academy that belongs to or pertains to one particular girl. Using "Girls'" implies that it is a private academy that belongs to or pertains to multiple girls.

Thank you for your feedback I’ll make sure to take note the next time I show it!