Setsuri Kyoujin Taisen Vampire Myst - Vol. 1 Ch. 1 - Myst breaker

[MangaDex]

 

[inversefate]

Interesting, but that translation needs a lot of work

 

[Dor1tos]

It'd be cool to read this in English.

 

[ZenMasters]

Alright, you got my attention.

 

[Chadol]

Interesting, but that translation needs a lot of work

Can you tell me want needs to be improved so i can make a better one
Like the grammar or the style
Its my first translation so i am open for any criticism.

 

[Strela]

Thank god my loliwaifu survive, I was worried for a second there

 

[inversefate]

Can you tell me want needs to be improved so i can make a better one
Like the grammar or the style
Its my first translation so i am open for any criticism.

The grammar, typesetting and font selection need a lot of work. It’s riddled with grammatical errors, the typesetting doesn’t look right on the signs and the font we went with here just frankly looks bad. The white box over the signboards also doesn’t look great, but that’s going to have to come with improving your photoshop skills.

Overall, it doesn’t look like a bad first try, but it has a lot of room for improvement.