Hang on.... I only just noticed this, but....
The dwarf mustache... It's NOT on his lip... It's coming from his NOSE!!! THAT IS NOT A MUSTACHE!!! IT'S GIANT NOSEHAIR!!!
...
Also, ladies, the question is not: "Do you like that type over my type?!"
The question is: "How is the guy supposed to live a peaceful, quiet life, with you bit-ahem, ladies, tagging along and being NOISY!!