"The carriage would just slow us down."
*enemy pursues in carriages*
"So should we ride the enormous battle horse, or?"
"No, you are an elf. Elves love forests. Walk, you Keebler strumpet."
"But my tiny legs, they are le tired!"
"This is precisely why you aren't rad enough to ride."
*enemy heavy infantry catches up on foot while giving a noble a piggyback ride*