I know you said not to nitpick but I wanted to share a different perspective on the same topic.Snip
Counseling can help if, and only if, both partners are willing to do 3 simple things.
1. Be open; They both need to be willing to say what they're feeling and be willing to listen to what their partner has to say.
2. Be honest; Both need to be truthful about the situation and be willing to admit to their own faults.
3. Be willing; If either partner is not willing to change, doesn't see a problem, or sees counseling as a waste of time then no amount of counseling will help. Both of them need to want things to work out and to work on themselves because it is very rare, in reality, for one person to be 100% of the problem in a relationship.
Thats my 2 cents though.