@TulipMoon thanks for the TL! 😃
A few possible improvements :
"If they fight this way, I'm sure even a small army
wouldn't stand up to Marden." rather than "would"? I'm unsure. Unless it's trying to convey that Marden is so weak that a smaller force would do just as fine in which case "If they fight this way, I'm sure even a
smaller force would *defeat Marden". * I know defeat is different than stand up to but 'standing up' sounds a bit off when trying to convey that even a reduced force would be more than enough.
What or who is "trace?" maybe it's a character I've forgotten? Or a TL error? Edit: corrected by someone that it's a character. Never mind.
A typeset error on page 6, "the" is broken into two lines despite having space to fit on one line
Page 10 "Yes, your highness" sounds like he's answering a command rather than thinking out loud. I think "Yes... Your highness" would be better. Also, I'm unsure on the apostrophe on "subjects", but posessives aren't my strong point.
Hopefully that helps some. Its overall a very good translation job though, I'm just using my experience from literature studies class to polish a bit. 😃