I pray for your healing and love journey , Miyamoto.
This makes me remember something from my past. He was my friend and rival. We always fight when we see each other. We kick, bite, pinch, and everything .But, sometimes we get along and somehow I don't know when but I began to care for him, at first as friends then it began to grow as our friends start to tease us, saying we're going out. Due to the teasing, I begin to see him as a man and that's how my feelings went from care to crush to gradually falling in love with him.
My feelings last for 20 years before it gradually subside because we lost contact for almost a decade.