Succubus Tamer no Isekai Musou - Vol. 1 Ch. 4

[MangaDex]

 

[Lectonal]

Ah! I forgot to mention, but I had received the NSFW raws, after I had TL-ed the censored parts of this chapter. Apologies, but I'll have to translate the NSFW ones, and then edit the chapter, a little later on.

Sorry for any inconvenience!

Regards,
Lectonal.

 

[pandatime]

let be real here my dear TL
your gonna be 100% right and they wont have a char developemtn lets be real

 

[SingularPrime]

I am a bit confused about what happened near the end there, was the MC's power keeping monsters from attacking the city while he was in it or something? So now that he left monsters suddenly start attacking again? It seemed like that was what they were saying but wasn't very clear...

 

[D1003Briner]

damn if mc was playin crusader kings or if this was somewhat realistic, he would let them die and then claim and conquer his birthright(the lands of his father) and with that everything would go well unfurtenately the author needs cheap villains.

 

[Lectonal]

I am a bit confused about what happened near the end there, was the MC's power keeping monsters from attacking the city while he was in it or something? So now that he left monsters suddenly start attacking again? It seemed like that was what they were saying but wasn't very clear...

Apologies! That was my interpretation, yes. Sorry if it was unclear!

 

[Kushikime]

Thanks for the chapter

 

[Salfaro]

I am a bit confused about what happened near the end there, was the MC's power keeping monsters from attacking the city while he was in it or something? So now that he left monsters suddenly start attacking again? It seemed like that was what they were saying but wasn't very clear...

Yeah, if I had to guess, aside from the potential that it's just some random unmentioned ability (which would be annoying but not surprising), the reveal here could be that he's actually such an amazing tamer that he has a passive pacifying effect on monsters regardless, so they won't attack wherever he's staying.

In which case, hopefully rather than this just biting him in the ass later, this is just an opportunity for the succubi to mention it to the Arkanes and make them realize how dumb they were to let him go, before leaving them again.

 

[Amariithynar]

Ah! I forgot to mention, but I had received the NSFW raws, after I had TL-ed the censored parts of this chapter. Apologies, but I'll have to translate the NSFW ones, and then edit the chapter, a little later on.

Sorry for any inconvenience!

Regards,
Lectonal.

No problem! As for other things: Nah, wordiness is just fine at this level. "Baphomet" (if the kanji are that) should be left as is instead of replaced with "goat-man"; Baphomet has a lot of occult connections, and is straight-up a demon (whether an individual a la the Ars Goetia or as a species of demons), so a succubus who is part-Baphomet would have greater magical strength, amongst other gifts, and would fit in more with the half-"Divine Beasts" of the other succubi; "Goat-man" is just a beastfolk demihuman, which does have its own gifts, but they run towards the simple physical, e.g. fleece, strong head, greater physical strength (as most beastfolk get), and so on.

Apologies! That was my interpretation, yes. Sorry if it was unclear!

Nah, came through perfectly clear that it was the passive function of his Tamer ability that was keeping monsters pacified in the area.

 

[lesseffective]

It feels like one part seemed a little backwards and his town should have been safe -- for within whatever walls he is things certainly become exceedingly pregnable.

 

[AnacondaHL]

Just being real here, now there are probably a bit too many T/L notes.

A joke here and there is ok, but they reduce in comedic impact with this much volume.

 

[Haezer]

It actually got my eyes rolling the moment he says the "Protag" lines. Why is it always like this. Like sure is a cool line if it done right with the right buildup but this isn't it

 

[Lectonal]

Just being real here, now there are probably a bit too many T/L notes.

A joke here and there is ok, but they reduce in comedic impact with this much volume.

Sorry! As you might have noticed, If I recall correctly, most of the TL notes in this chapter were questions (though that mightn't be true). I only really added them, to get some feedback on my TL-ing, and ask for opinions on whether or not I should keep/change certain things.

Maybe I should note them down somewhere else, and ask them in the forums? Or even at the end of the chapter?

Although, I won't pretend that some aren't just spontaneous thoughts I had whilst reading, haha. Ah! About the "baphomet" note, I did think at the time that it was quite long, to be using in the margin, but I wanted to explain why I had changed it - before I ended up forgetting.

Thanks for giving your opinion! I'll try not to clutter up future chapters, quite so much haha.

Regards,
Lectonal

 

[Lectonal]

No problem! As for other things: Nah, wordiness is just fine at this level. "Baphomet" (if the kanji are that) should be left as is instead of replaced with "goat-man"; Baphomet has a lot of occult connections, and is straight-up a demon (whether an individual a la the Ars Goetia or as a species of demons), so a succubus who is part-Baphomet would have greater magical strength, amongst other gifts, and would fit in more with the half-"Divine Beasts" of the other succubi; "Goat-man" is just a beastfolk demihuman, which does have its own gifts, but they run towards the simple physical, e.g. fleece, strong head, greater physical strength (as most beastfolk get), and so on.

Nah, came through perfectly clear that it was the passive function of his Tamer ability that was keeping monsters pacified in the area.

facepalm I completely overlooked the connection between Succubi and the Occult! In retrospect, it makes so much sense haha!

The reason I had decided to change it, was because I felt that "Baphomet" seemed to be referencing an individual, but the way in which it was said, didn't add up.

Your point on "Goat-man" seeming more to relate to a demi-human makes sense, too!

Wow. I'm going to put my idiocy down to fatigue haha.

Seriously though, thanks for the opinion! Would you like a job as a proofreader? Haha.

Many Thanks,
Lectonal

 

[Landale]

Maybe I should note them down somewhere else, and ask them in the forums? Or even at the end of the chapter?

When there is a critical mass of notes, most people do generally just make a page or two for that at the end.
The fact that you're putting actual translated text in the gaps and sides where you don't want to or can't redraw just adds to the necessity that you stop cluttering pages with notes and general commentary.

 

[Amariithynar]

Sorry! As you might have noticed, If I recall correctly, most of the TL notes in this chapter were questions (though that mightn't be true). I only really added them, to get some feedback on my TL-ing, and ask for opinions on whether or not I should keep/change certain things.

Maybe I should note them down somewhere else, and ask them in the forums? Or even at the end of the chapter?

Although, I won't pretend that some aren't just spontaneous thoughts I had whilst reading, haha. Ah! About the "baphomet" note, I did think at the time that it was quite long, to be using in the margin, but I wanted to explain why I had changed it - before I ended up forgetting.

Thanks for giving your opinion! I'll try not to clutter up future chapters, quite so much haha.

Regards,
Lectonal

End-page notes would probably work better for their preference, but that loses specificity unless you mark each page you're noting with a numbered point and a, "see end page for notes" type situation, but then that distracts the reader as to what the note actually said. I think that any notes about explicit changes to the page or specific content relevant to a specific page should go on the page itself, while anything that is a more general note or question (e.g. "So, how's the translation now?" type things) should go to an end page, as they do not need specificity. However, as Landale above me noted: NEVER put actual in-panel text into the margins if you're doing on-page notes at all (unless it's as a comparison in a note, and then don't use a whole block of text, use specific words).

As for your offer of proofreader, if it weren't for the fact that my transfer finally went through and I'm back to work I might've, but alas. I'm always open to you tossing ideas my way and I'll try to get back to you about them same-day, though, if you want to try something like that out.

 

[Outflanks10]

Thanks for the translation

 

[rluka]

Page 16, I think is nothing about blood of the divine beasts. But he’s commenting on how suddenly the divine beasts came out in their topic like Sunday bazaar. Yorna told him it’s not that strange, after all, the things around their place are all that (divine beasts).
She asks, wouldn’t he be able to tame them.

In page 19, Frey said from their (succubus) side, there’s no reason to not attack the human.
Although the kind of “attack” is different, other beasts have the same line of thought.
Then, Malt thought, he didn’t know the reason why the territory is safe all these time.

About taming those monsters... Malt is very talented, but I think his father and brother are also exceptionally incompetent compared to their ancestors.
Their family’s nobility title is because their family acts as the outermost defensive point for the human kingdom, using their taming skill to keep the monsters back.
But the father and brother are typical white pigs who only sit on their title without understanding their duty.

 

[gadnihasj]

Page 16, I think is nothing about blood of the divine beasts. But he’s commenting on how suddenly the divine beasts came out in their topic like Sunday bazaar. Yorna told him it’s not that strange, after all, the things around their place are all that (divine beasts).
She asks, wouldn’t he be able to tame them.

But it literally says blood of divine beasts? The English translation of the text in that panel is pretty much on spot.

The reason I had decided to change it, was because I felt that "Baphomet" seemed to be referencing an individual, but the way in which it was said, didn't add up.

Baphomet and Minotaurus are both individuals mythology. In this manga, they seem to be used more like names of races, Or the highest class of their specific monster type. Like one is used to with respawning boss monsters.

 

[Lectonal]

Page 16, I think is nothing about blood of the divine beasts. But he’s commenting on how suddenly the divine beasts came out in their topic like Sunday bazaar. Yorna told him it’s not that strange, after all, the things around their place are all that (divine beasts).
She asks, wouldn’t he be able to tame them.

In page 19, Frey said from their (succubus) side, there’s no reason to not attack the human.
Although the kind of “attack” is different, other beasts have the same line of thought.
Then, Malt thought, he didn’t know the reason why the territory is safe all these time.

About taming those monsters... Malt is very talented, but I think his father and brother are also exceptionally incompetent compared to their ancestors.
Their family’s nobility title is because their family acts as the outermost defensive point for the human kingdom, using their taming skill to keep the monsters back.
But the father and brother are typical white pigs who only sit on their title without understanding their duty.

I was actually pretty unsure about that conversation. I knew I had the topic ROUGHLY accurate, but the way in which it had been put across confused me.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! You've definitely helped to clear it up a little haha! For me, at least.

I would just like to reiterate, though, that I am by no means 100% comfortable with the Japanese Language, so any alternative meanings/translations are definitely welcome! (That goes for anyone, not just you, btw)

I'm rather new to this thing... Please be kind, haha!

Many Thanks,
Lectonal.