Tenju no Kuni - Vol. 4 Ch. 16 - Ideal Self

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In case people and the scanlator didn't know, all four volumes are already completely available in English and volume 4 is currently 45% off on Comixology (Both .com and .eu)
 
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Dec 29, 2018
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@TotoroTheGreat lol yeah I didn't notice till after we had done basically everything. We might just continue to redo volume 4 to our specifications. I do recommend people buy the official version as well.

Also, we noticed a couple typos, they will be fixed as soon as our QC is on and can edit the PSD files :V
 
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Wow I wasn't dreaming, after one year of being dead. Many many thanks for picking this up!
 
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Thanks for the chapter. I'm sad that this manga only got a digital release. I was hopping to get a physical copy because the art work is so well done. A hard copy version would have been amazing to hold and read.
 
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While I can appreciate wanting to translate something you like and wanting to provide a translation for people who may not be able to access the official translation, as is all too common these days, I must caution you that there are many translation errors.

As a translator who also really likes this series, I felt that I should contact you about this. Since I have a copy of the original volume, and I assume you do as well, I’ll just post links along with my thoughts. This is not an exhaustive list of the issues with the release, but these are the ones that stood out most.

p6
https://i.imgur.com/RFno5UD.png - This isn't "Oh, you don't have to worry about him", this is "You don't have to be afraid of him // There's nothing to be afraid of." To some extent these concepts are similar, but there was no reason to change the verb since it sounds fine translated literally.

p8
https://i.imgur.com/fVx2NNZ.png - I can understand why you might think that the よね would mean he "he doesn't want me around", but actually, here it is used to mean "He wants me around, doesn't he?" Yes, there is a slight amount of uncertainty, but you guys put in way more uncertainty than is in the original to the point of it being totally different.

p14
https://i.imgur.com/A3oy9vN.png - "problem child" implies that she is mischievous, delinquent, getting into trouble. However, that is NOT what 残念な子 means. It's much more along the lines of "I am fairly useless."

https://i.imgur.com/5arz4JE.png - Rapeseed oil, not canola oil. Also, you removed the details regarding straining and lees.

p16
https://i.imgur.com/S4zI4Wi.png - Since you used "Ideal Self" in the title, why not translate 理想 as ideal here too? It's the theme of the chapter. Also, ideal =/= goal. Sometimes, your GOAL can actively be to work towards your IDEAL, but that is not the same and it's not what they are talking about. Obviously, there are some similarities, but goal implies that it's something you are actively working towards while ideal is simply the situation that you would like to have happen the most, but there being implications that it's not something that is necessarily easy to attain.

Similar issue with this line, but 穏やか is living peacefully/tranquilly -- I don't see any specific reason to not translate that literally, but instead bring in the foreign idea of "less stressful." Sometimes you do have to flip sentences around like this, but here it only changed the meaning of the translation and there were words you could use without it sounding awkward.

p17
https://i.imgur.com/ziCPapu.jpg - You guys misunderstood the doer of the action, the verb, and the ではない。The literal is this: "My ideal.... is just to not live a life where I always feel guilty towards my husband" What she means is that she doesn't want to feel as though she isn't good enough to be married to him, as she touched upon briefly in previous pages.
~OBJに申し訳なく思う ALWAYS means "I feel guilty/sorry towards OBJ"  
ではない Is used to mean "my ideal WOULD BE TO NOT feel this way." However, I don't necessarily think that needs to be translated, so long as you translate the other parts right.
While some feelings of worthlessness might come in from a logical standpoint of her feelings, this is more about feeling as though Moshi Rati is on the same level as her husband, so this makes the whole scene extremely self-deprecating. Not only that, but the actual Japanese 申し訳ない has nothing do with worthlessness.

p18
https://i.imgur.com/kvqij6o.png - Moshi Rati isn't saying this line here. You guys misunderstood のに, plus removed a lot of the information. It's Delek saying it here, and he means "If you'd only given me the pot, I could've brought it for you myself." To which Moshi Rati responds "I wanted to help."

https://i.imgur.com/DODMdEs.png - Missed the passive verb form. It's not "Did you make enough" it's "was enough made..." This is a very simple and minor issue, but in the future, you should be very careful about passive verbs because even in simple sentences like this, it shows that the speaker understands that the listener didn't do what was being done.

p20
https://i.imgur.com/tV9n7UF.jpg - This is piggybacking off your interpretation of p17, but it needs to be something like "while I don't have any skills now" -- It has NOTHING to do with her worth.
Also, again, because this is the THEME of the chapter and you translated the chapter title as "ideal self", this is the perfect place to use it. In the Japanese, it's clearly a call-back to the title since it's written the same exact way.

p21
https://i.imgur.com/kc2V05r.png - This is a really funny joke you guys missed. They are saying here that the head won't fit inside of their bowl.

The rest aren't mistranslations per se, but they're written in a way that makes them hard to understand. Also just decided to put some general notes in here.

p6
https://i.imgur.com/QWqYbGr.png - Not really a mistranslation, but very literal. Doesn't make it clear that she just surprised him and that's why he screamed.

p12
https://i.imgur.com/PmT1lCc.png - I suppose it's obvious by the visuals, but I don't see any reason to not translate the Japanese as-is by writing "sky blue" and "grass green." It certainly makes it a lot more obvious. Also, this is a good catch-all example of how you guys seem to change the Japanese word into something else when it would've sounded fine literally and not added or removed any meanings.

p17
https://i.imgur.com/lUAwzXk.png - An unnecessary change in tone. It should just be "Will you come have some?" This is also a good catch-all example of the tone being altered when a literal translation would have been fine.

https://i.imgur.com/IdOphXf.png - じゃあ is more like "in that case." This translation sounds fine and isn't really awkward or anything.

========================================================================
Per your earlier comments, it sounds as though you will be using the official translation to check your translation against, but do you have a plan for when you run out of official translations? Will you be waiting for the official release of volume 5?
 
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iu
 
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Jan 18, 2018
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@jesusworegucci What, you mean that a D in Japanese 101 isn't enough for babby's first translation to be even remotely accurate? :<

Also, why the fuck are you guys even scanlating this? This chapter has literally already been translated in the official, licensed release that you can buy ON AMAZON, IN ENGLISH, RIGHT NOW at this link: https://www.amazon.com/Blissful-Land-Vol-Ichimon-Izumi-ebook/dp/B07WZ2YZX4 -- and the official release that has been out for months is of markedly better quality than what you just shat out.

smh
 
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Jan 18, 2018
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@jesusworegucci that's implying the translation is the only thing wrong with this dumpster fire, lol.

Are there any redeeming factors here? Because I can't find any. This shit is licensed, the licensed release is of better quality, and the licensed release is ahead.
 
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Mar 5, 2019
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I've already bought the digital books actually. But it just wasn't the same without discussions and commentaries after reading the chaps... 😆

Thanks for the chap, @Glaistig_Uaine
 
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Jan 18, 2018
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tbh i have a copy of the official tranlations and i dont like kno japanese at all but at least what like jesus said matches up with what i read so maybe its a good idea to check it?

too lazy to post all of them but heres pag 17
https://ibb.co/MpkR5fL
ssry hope thats ok

(btw, u guys can get this on comixology and I don't think they like ban regions or whatever so thats cool)
 

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