The Summer You Were There - Vol. 1 Ch. 5 - Confession

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Ohohoho

Maybe she's one of the friends she used to bully(?), that's why she knows?

Also, was it really bullying? I'm curios what could've happened

In any case, that's definitely not something I would've thought. I've read many similar stories, but characters behaving just like that, but their reason was nothing like this
 
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Well, we don't know the situation for why she feels remorse exactly. But if after that her desire becomes to "Not hurt anyone anymore, so I don't hurt myself with them" then I say you are in a decent ground for rehabilitation.

After all, if she feels bad for what she has done to the point of distancing themselves from others... That just shows that you still hold some deep values and humanity. It might be not kindness, exactly. It might be something way gross. But it's not like kindness isn't born from egoistical desire in the first place.

"I feel good when I do good, so good I do"
 
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I know it's supposed to be a serious thing, but I actually laughed a little bit when she revealed that her big trauma is that she bullied other people way back in elementary school. Like, that's it? Yeah, kids can be awful, it happens, a lot of us are at that time. But for sure Asaka is someone that Hoshikawa used to bully, now I just wonder why she's doing this now.

That aside, there were some pretty cute moments in this chapter, though I'm still finding it a little hard to care about Hoshikawa herself. Like, I get she's depressed and all, but you gotta add some redeeming qualities to a character, you know? The only good thing we know about her is that she's supposedly a good writer, but we can't even get a glimpse of her writing to be able to appreciate that. But I suppose we're gonna discover that once she starts opening up a bit more.

With all of that said, I'm still interested in the story per se and seeing where it goes.

@Raknasuu I think it's pretty bad to characterize that kind of feeling as egotistical. "Egotistical" means excessively self-centered, so it has a negative connotation and shouldn't be used in this context. It's okay and normal to feel good about doing good and it's even okay to be solely motivated by that, cause "I wanna feel good" is not necessarily a bad motivation.
 
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A couple of things I'm hoping for here:

1. I really do hope that she was actually bullying people and treating them like shit. I feel like all the interesting parts about this would immediately deflate if she wasn't actually doing anything bad. I've seen too many of these plots result in "you weren't bad tho", and I'd like to see an actual redemption this time. That'd be nice.

2. I really hope this isn't a "by bullying them you helped me" situation, for much the same reasons. Though, that would also bring in this element of "what you did was okay 'cause it helped someone", which would just feel gross.
 
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The language she uses is so harsh that either the author is bullshitting us on how serious the bullying was (which would be lame) or she drove somebody to suicide (or inflicted a serious physical injury I guess).
 

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