The Two With the Wall - The Two With The Wall

[throughstars]

🙃🙂🙃🙂

 

[kuzunagi13]

ohh shite.. this is actually a good idea..
and the artist/author is not only doing an ero and comedy one.. even a feels one? very nice~

 

[Varler]

Holy shit!!!!! I need to read this! This idea is so good! It gave me the chills! Wow...

 

[FireCamp]

a.k.a an author torturing his creations 10/10 would recommend to a sadistic friend :v (on a more serious note, it's quite original of a premise imo but how could you expand on that is the real question)

 

[hanamore]

I haven’t seen a premise like this before, but I like it so far!

An interesting thing to look back on is the artist’s subtle change in comic/art-style between the character’s panels/worlds. The girl’s manga uses a hatching style for shadows while the guy’s is just flat shading.

 

[neorasp]

that was meta.

 

[Sakai]

i hope the author doesn't contine this, its pretty good as one shot but it wont work if they tried to serialized it

 

[IJustMadeThisToComment]

I knew there was something up with them not touching throughout the first few panels.
But holy shit man,that must be like,an existensial crisis for both of them right?

 

[CyanHide]

@FireCamp you can’t, unless you continue to torture them by trying to separate them. I feel there is a reason why the last panel exists

 

[jonsmth]

One clear problem is that it was really obvious they are somehow separed from how the comic was drawn

I don't think it matters that it was (too) obvious. Did you wanted it to be more obscure?

A good pattern for these sort of things is that the conclusion aka "twist" is already evident right from the beginning, and the hints leading to it progressively becomes easier to see. Good for you if you found it out right away (the first hint is already in the title).

 

[daywithoutgames]

page 5 : the mangaka intentionally used erotic lines :
- does it ( your pu$$y ) feel good ? does it sting ?
- ngh . im okay . it kinda hurts , but im glad .

so they attend the same school , but their schools are in parallel worlds or something . the uniform of the main girl and the uniform of the girl in the last page are different .

 

[AnotherBoredPerson]

Spoiler

Oohh so the wall is the panel!

 

[Mang-Oh]

No, pls, I love this. More, fourth wall stories that aren't just comedy are great why

 

[Eggsburst]

It's an interesting idea and the execution was technically decent, but in my opinion it didn't work in practice as well as it probably seemed to work as an idea in the author's mind. One clear problem is that it was really obvious they are somehow separed from how the comic was drawn, with practically no tricks used to try to fool the reader. This just kind of lacked any oomph. There are some jolly good oneshots out there, and this could have been one as well if the author had got some feedback and rewritten the script to be craftier. I'm only criticising this because I see the potential and the idea is novel.

I think it works as a good proof of concept, something to consider and maybe iterate on in the future

 

[Eggsburst]

The touch that the guy's world uses soft gray screen tones while the girl's world uses hatching is a delicate one