A writers mantra that I heard on YouTube: Show, Don't Tell. Basically to convey the characters' feeling to the audience, it is advised that the feeling is shown with evidence and not told directly. Like, if someone feel sad that their loved one passed away, instead of telling "they're sad", the writer could show it with "the tears had fallen, the promise is broken, and his chest tightened with the sudden emptiness that he knows will never be completed again".
I don't know if this is because how the story is drawn (to save space or get things happened faster) or if it was like that already from the novel (if this is based on one), but it really could use some improvement on how the feelings are conveyed.
Other than that, I'm really looking forward to this story. It is so beautiful 😍😍😍