Whether I'm Here or Not
- Thread starter MangaDex
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FYI, Chapter 12 is the ending of the series 
Fed-Kun's army
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This is great. I love that everyone become better versions of themselves.
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"Whether I'm here or not" is one of my top favorite series by Ikuemi (as far as I have read). It delves into insecurities (that the world surrounding you might have contributed to) and how life itself may not be as you may have thought about it.
I also like the whole "mangaka is making a manga about a mangaka" aspect of the story, because I'm pretty sure that in some way or form this might have pulled from IRL experiences from Ikuemi or anyone in her circle of contemporaries/friends. Like, imagine getting too big and popular when you are just getting out of high school (and somehow decided to drop college because the checks kept coming), but your own insecurities and self-loathing that you have been dragging from when you were a pre-teen is still showing their ugly face.
All the protagonists of this story are lost in some way or form. They feel lonely because there's some kind of lack of "actual recognition" by your loved ones. We follow Shouko, whom is often "forgotten", "othered" because her mom always preferred her older brother... but man, ma'am here is smothering at worst :/. There's also Maki, whom may be a popular and rich mangaka... but the way I see it, I don't think she is the "popular" one, it's her work, instead, and always seems like putting herself a mask, an upfront to hide her insecurities). I suppose there's some layers about the artist (not saying she speaks for Ikuemi, but the concept of an artist as a creator and their works), self-esteem issues and how the internet made it worse (series published in 2001/02) to go through it.
I do like the way they eventually realized they were on their wrongs, and by the looks of it, they have been improving over time.
I also like the whole "mangaka is making a manga about a mangaka" aspect of the story, because I'm pretty sure that in some way or form this might have pulled from IRL experiences from Ikuemi or anyone in her circle of contemporaries/friends. Like, imagine getting too big and popular when you are just getting out of high school (and somehow decided to drop college because the checks kept coming), but your own insecurities and self-loathing that you have been dragging from when you were a pre-teen is still showing their ugly face.
All the protagonists of this story are lost in some way or form. They feel lonely because there's some kind of lack of "actual recognition" by your loved ones. We follow Shouko, whom is often "forgotten", "othered" because her mom always preferred her older brother... but man, ma'am here is smothering at worst :/. There's also Maki, whom may be a popular and rich mangaka... but the way I see it, I don't think she is the "popular" one, it's her work, instead, and always seems like putting herself a mask, an upfront to hide her insecurities). I suppose there's some layers about the artist (not saying she speaks for Ikuemi, but the concept of an artist as a creator and their works), self-esteem issues and how the internet made it worse (series published in 2001/02) to go through it.
I do like the way they eventually realized they were on their wrongs, and by the looks of it, they have been improving over time.
Especially on how, after everything that happened (Shouko telling Maki she was never treated as a friend by her), she immediately tells her that she was glad that she was working through her creative block, which meant that she was actually honest in wanting to see more of her middle-school's manga, in a way that she wanted her to keep creating).
Also, I totally called it that Maki and Hiyama's relationship was toxic as it looked they were overly-dependent for each other. They wanted the best of them, individually, but it looks that being together wasn't the way it should have been. Be it because they were lonely and didn't want to lose themselves, acting like some kind of anchor in work AND private lives. It was for the better that they broke up.
Ngl, I also hated Karen. Like, what was her deal? She was an obvious fangirl, who was jealous of Maki, but still took the assistant work because "paycheck, BABY", but man... always getting herself into stuff that wasn't any of her actual interest :/. Bringing chaos? Maybe as a way for Maki to ditch Hiyama (which, I mean...)? I still find it a little "hmmm" she won that... Bessatsu Gamaret contest? I mean... nice easter egg, but... something about not judging a book by its cover (although they did know how this girl was with them).
Interestingly enough, I THOUGHT this series finished different? Like, I THOUGHT Maki and Hiyama DID get married, for convenience... but apparently I am misremembering another manga by Ikuemi or anyone else that had a similar "creator is going through some self-esteem issues, something, something happens, and they get married with anyone in the same industry" and such... but that's what happens when you re-read this several years later after the fact, just to get the whole gist of it better.
Also, I totally called it that Maki and Hiyama's relationship was toxic as it looked they were overly-dependent for each other. They wanted the best of them, individually, but it looks that being together wasn't the way it should have been. Be it because they were lonely and didn't want to lose themselves, acting like some kind of anchor in work AND private lives. It was for the better that they broke up.
Ngl, I also hated Karen. Like, what was her deal? She was an obvious fangirl, who was jealous of Maki, but still took the assistant work because "paycheck, BABY", but man... always getting herself into stuff that wasn't any of her actual interest :/. Bringing chaos? Maybe as a way for Maki to ditch Hiyama (which, I mean...)? I still find it a little "hmmm" she won that... Bessatsu Gamaret contest? I mean... nice easter egg, but... something about not judging a book by its cover (although they did know how this girl was with them).
Interestingly enough, I THOUGHT this series finished different? Like, I THOUGHT Maki and Hiyama DID get married, for convenience... but apparently I am misremembering another manga by Ikuemi or anyone else that had a similar "creator is going through some self-esteem issues, something, something happens, and they get married with anyone in the same industry" and such... but that's what happens when you re-read this several years later after the fact, just to get the whole gist of it better.
