Dex-chan lover
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2020
- Messages
- 407
Holy shit she's enormous. And not just physically, she's got quite the self-confidence as well...
where can I find such a specimen?
where can I find such a specimen?
Sorry...The translation itself is great, but you're overusing commas. The majority of the times you're using commas the sentence would flow better without them.
For example, on the first page:
"I won't let you go, if you can't even defend yourself."
This line shouldn't have a comma.
"I won't let you go if you can't even defend yourself."
Another example on the second page:
"I don't really understand it, but as long as I can use it, there shouldn't be a problem."
The first comma works, but the sentence flows better without the second comma.
"I don't really understand it, but as long as I can use it there shouldn't be a problem."
Or on the fourth page:
"Before Kurando-san accepted the quest, the rules for accepting quests were revised, by the Dolgan council."
First comma good, second comma bad.
"Before Kurando-san accepted the quest, the rules for accepting quests were revised by the Dolgan council."
I could keep listing more but there's too many to list all of them. Again, translation itself is great aside from the numerous extra commas.
It's the door swinging back at him. It's kinda like those comedic saloon doors scene you see at cartoons when they push it too hard and the character is still standing at the doorway, so the doors just slams at them and they get thrown back.Okay I'm a little confused. Pages 26 and 27... He came storming in to make demands and was immediately sent flying through the door. How exactly? Did she do that?
Got it. That makes sense now.It's the door swinging back at him. It's kinda like those comedic saloon doors scene you see at cartoons when they push it too hard and the character is still standing at the doorway, so the doors just slams at them and they get thrown back.
I don't see why you would think that, when the first thing he said was that he came to pick up the tremor grass from the tremor grass quest, that mc had collected.This "pig" is probably the one who supposed to be his "supervisor". Since it's called differently from a Guide, I guess a "supervisor" doesn't have to be a Hunter.
commas can be used to describe the flow/rhythm of a sentence too. Which is why I always overuse it when I writes comments tooThe translation itself is great, but you're overusing commas. The majority of the times you're using commas the sentence would flow better without them.
For example, on the first page:
"I won't let you go, if you can't even defend yourself."
This line shouldn't have a comma.
"I won't let you go if you can't even defend yourself."
Another example on the second page:
"I don't really understand it, but as long as I can use it, there shouldn't be a problem."
The first comma works, but the sentence flows better without the second comma.
"I don't really understand it, but as long as I can use it there shouldn't be a problem."
Or on the fourth page:
"Before Kurando-san accepted the quest, the rules for accepting quests were revised, by the Dolgan council."
First comma good, second comma bad.
"Before Kurando-san accepted the quest, the rules for accepting quests were revised by the Dolgan council."
I could keep listing more but there's too many to list all of them. Again, translation itself is great aside from the numerous extra commas.