Chisa X Pon - Vol. 5 Ch. 29 - Too much in love, too afraid of losing each other

[MangaDex]

 

[Mangamoz]

My brain bleeds every time I read this but I can't look away from this train wreck.

Thanks for the TL.

 

[Oobaka-san]

Having reached this point, I thought I'd mention something about forgiveness. Looking around, there's good psychological evidence that forgiveness is often very good for mental health, decreasing things like depression, anxiety, stress and more. Ultimately, I think the core in things like this is finding a path to closure. Finding a way to reach what you consider a satisfactory conclusion to the whole thing, so that it's truly something in your past, not something you carry with you. Pressing charges, exposing the culprit or otherwise forcing him to pay is one path. You confront the situation and the one responsible, bring about consequences, and force the culprit to a place where they can never see you. However, it's a dangerous path for many. It can backfire, especially if one can't get a conviction in court or the culprit is able to get around any attempts to get back at them. Even if a conviction is achieved, being forced to repeatedly relive the experience in front of others while being hit with skepticism and accusations can add a lot of stress.

Forgiveness is also a path though, letting go of your hate and just moving on. There's a satisfaction that can be gained by confronting the person that hurt you and saying that you don't want to hurt them back, you just want to put it all behind you. It's a different way of taking control and shutting the door. That said, this too is a very dangerous path. You have to live with the fact that the person responsible for this pain is out there, that you could meet each other without warning, and if the person isn't repentant or falls back into old habits, the whole thing could happen again to you or to others.

Really, there's no absolute answer. There are many variables depending on the victim, the exact situation, as well as the perpetrator and their own contrition or lack thereof, which together can play a big role in determining what impact any choice could have on the psyche of the victim. It's common in this day and age it seems to immediately insist that the answer is to call them out and put them in jail, and there's certainly nothing wrong with going that route. From a public security perspective this is certainly a good idea as it reduces the risk of further offenses. From an individual perspective, however, it's not as easy to judge.

My point is, forgiveness isn't reason to condemn someone. It doesn't mean the victim is okay with what happened. In fact, expressing forgiveness demonstrates that they recognize that something bad has happened and that there is reason to resent or forgive. And just because someone offers forgiveness doesn't mean they're "friends" again. Chisa in this story forgave Takigawa because she was unable to find closure otherwise. All of the negative feelings were still stuck just beneath the surface waiting for triggers to boil out again, and she decided this was the best way for her to put it behind her and move on with her life. It wasn't so they could be friends again, it was so she could forget about him entirely. It was her choice to try and heal herself, and there's nothing worth condemnation in that decision.

 

[buckyisotope]

Thanks for the chapter…I’m invested enough that I want to see how this ends.

 

[deleted-user-bd0fb46e6a]

Huh? Does that mean she's Chisa's sister or something? Or am I too stupid to see things

 

[jeremymd]

Huh? Does that mean she's Chisa's sister or something? Or am I too stupid to see things

That was the first thing that popped in my head

 

[cyberrb25]

Huh? Does that mean she's Chisa's sister or something? Or am I too stupid to see things

Seems like step sister or something like that.

 

[Late_Komei]

snip

Are you a psychology teacher? Talk about some sage wisdom.

 

[Late_Komei]

The twists are becoming more insane, haha. Now the Father is coming back to the spotlight?

 

[THeVaSH]

Having reached this point, I thought I'd mention something about forgiveness. Looking around, there's good psychological evidence that forgiveness is often very good for mental health, decreasing things like depression, anxiety, stress and more. Ultimately, I think the core in things like this is finding a path to closure. Finding a way to reach what you consider a satisfactory conclusion to the whole thing, so that it's truly something in your past, not something you carry with you. Pressing charges, exposing the culprit or otherwise forcing him to pay is one path. You confront the situation and the one responsible, bring about consequences, and force the culprit to a place where they can never see you. However, it's a dangerous path for many. It can backfire, especially if one can't get a conviction in court or the culprit is able to get around any attempts to get back at them. Even if a conviction is achieved, being forced to repeatedly relive the experience in front of others while being hit with skepticism and accusations can add a lot of stress.

Forgiveness is also a path though, letting go of your hate and just moving on. There's a satisfaction that can be gained by confronting the person that hurt you and saying that you don't want to hurt them back, you just want to put it all behind you. It's a different way of taking control and shutting the door. That said, this too is a very dangerous path. You have to live with the fact that the person responsible for this pain is out there, that you could meet each other without warning, and if the person isn't repentant or falls back into old habits, the whole thing could happen again to you or to others.

Really, there's no absolute answer. There are many variables depending on the victim, the exact situation, as well as the perpetrator and their own contrition or lack thereof, which together can play a big role in determining what impact any choice could have on the psyche of the victim. It's common in this day and age it seems to immediately insist that the answer is to call them out and put them in jail, and there's certainly nothing wrong with going that route. From a public security perspective this is certainly a good idea as it reduces the risk of further offenses. From an individual perspective, however, it's not as easy to judge.

My point is, forgiveness isn't reason to condemn someone. It doesn't mean the victim is okay with what happened. In fact, expressing forgiveness demonstrates that they recognize that something bad has happened and that there is reason to resent or forgive. And just because someone offers forgiveness doesn't mean they're "friends" again. Chisa in this story forgave Takigawa because she was unable to find closure otherwise. All of the negative feelings were still stuck just beneath the surface waiting for triggers to boil out again, and she decided this was the best way for her to put it behind her and move on with her life. It wasn't so they could be friends again, it was so she could forget about him entirely. It was her choice to try and heal herself, and there's nothing worth condemnation in that decision.

All your arguments fall apart when this story tries to make you empathize with a rapist and believe he can be reformed, forgiven as if what he did could be erased. It's absurd and far-fetched.

 

[Oobaka-san]

All your arguments fall apart when this story tries to make you empathize with a rapist and believe he can be reformed, forgiven as if what he did could be erased. It's absurd and far-fetched.

I'm seriously curious just what it is in this series that makes you think for a moment that it "tries" to make us empathize with Takigawa, or make us think he can be reformed. And like I've said in a few places, your understanding of "forgiveness" is a bit off. What you're describing is "absolution". Forgiveness isn't making it like the sins never occurred. It's acknowledging that there is something worthy of condemnation but that door is being closed. And as I said, it's not really about Takigawa, it's about Chisa: it's a way for her to try to erase it for herself, not for her to let him off the hook. And in fact, I'd think if you've read the whole thing you'd realize that from the moment he did it his very existence has been defined by that. Every time he appears everything goes cold. He himself is full of self-loathing over his actions, and everyone else hates him at least as much. The most "positive" they can feel is a slight happiness that he agreed to take steps. And calling him "reformed" is also a real stretch. It's more like he's working to prevent himself from doing anything to anyone again by throwing himself into studies so big and intense that he won't have time to even think about girls. Kind of reminds me of a drug addict really: desperately trying to do what he can to make himself unable to pursue his addiction of choice (women) because he definitely is still addicted, and while it may be possible for people to congratulate him on maintaining that effort that doesn't mean he's going to be welcome around women. And if all of that isn't enough to say that the author doesn't want him to be seen as redeemed or worthy of sympathy, remember that his last mention in the epilogue confirms that she has him spend the rest of his life alone and miserable, with nothing left but the bitter denial of "at least I became a doctor".