The double standards exist because men and women are different, and people will view men and women as different. That doesn't change what the act is, of course, but we shouldn't burden ourselves griping over invincible things like said double standards.
Besides, the scenarios of both this...
When people like you and your work, they let you get away with writing your barely disguised fetishes into that work.
Even if they don't also like your barely disguised fetishes.