Haikei, Arishi Hi ni Saku Hanatachi e - Vol. 4 Ch. 16.2

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Flashbacks to a certain Gundam Wing scene.

Aoyama's an odd character. She's desperate to talk to Kasumi about the letter, yet doesn't seem too happy to have it back. Of course we know in fuller context she never wanted to write the letter. Indeed she probably didn't want to find anyone using it, which is why 16.1 pointed out how direct its offer was and how it set itself up for failure. But after 3+ years of waiting the thought must have weighed on her.

I think we can establish straightaway she never intercepted any letters left in Hanamonogatari. She both doesn't know anything about Kasumi and acts embarrassed at the thought of eavesdropping on a letter, in contrast to her disrespectful punkish nature. And her tearing up the letter at the end makes you wonder what she was so desperate for in the first place. I have no doubt she would have always torn up the letter even if this meeting had gone better.

Frankly I don't think Aoyama knew what she wanted. She doesn't come across as calculated as Sayori, for example, but a more reactionary and volatile individual. And she's had years of emptiness, bitterness, and resentment to color her. But I don't think her desperation on the first page adds up with her wanting to ruin Kasumi's day either. She overreacted to 3 things:

1st, being told "Sorry." Kasumi was right—returning the letter only re-opened old wounds of being rejected twice. 2nd, I think she was honestly jealous of Kasumi being in a happy relationship with Haruyo. But she kept it down and indulged her kouhai at first. The 3rd straw was the juvenile/sanitized way Kasumi described her relationship. Aoyama suffered in part because perhaps her S relationship was a lot more physical than she could handle. And she convinced herself, if mine didn't work out there's no way yours will.

Aoyama was surprised at how poorly Kasumi took it, but that's not in her defense. There's no reasonable expectation Kasumi wouldn't be hurt here. And it was one of the more uncomfortable chapters I've translated in any series. We all know how fragile Kasumi is. Yet you can see how excited she was at a chance to actually talk about her girlfriend to someone both private and in-the-know. But she's still too reserved to talk about the emotional depth of what she has with Haruyo, how it's quickly grown beyond the structure of Class S, and how some very physical feelings are developing.

It's a horrible miscommunication that immediately puts Aoyama in the worst light. While the boxcutter senpais kept their evilry to themselves (Sayori tactfully sparing Kasumi any damage from their meeting as she guided her reconciliation with Haruyo) this is Kasumi's first exposure in a long while to the darkness of the world.

最初のネームでは階段落ちの時顔から突っ込ませていたが、危なくてさすがに青山も心配するからしりもちくらいにしよって担当さんに言われて今の形になった。という裏話。
In the original draft, Kasumi was going to fall headfirst down the stairs. Igarashi's editor told her it was too much and Aoyama would show more concern, so they changed it to Kasumi falling on her butt. She still bumped her head though.

Doesn't really help Igarashi's case but as an author, pain's what sweetens relief. Or in other words, in the chemistry of writing, every action requires an equal and opposite reaction. Igarashi's confronting Kasumi with the supposition lots of readers might have had, diminishing her relationship with Haruyo because it's "only class S, not real romance." In a sense Igarashi is inviting the conversation of Class S vs yuri here.

I'm very interested where this arc takes us. It's so fundamentally different from the last two, directly involving Kasumi in the drama and the relationship being long buried. Is there even a chance to rekindle it? Would Aoyama want to? The focus is instead on Kasumi. As I suggested above I'm sure this will lead to a deeper bond with Haruyo. Their relationship trajectory has been so stable and positive, with Haruyo frequently thinking about the future, that Aoyama's warning is meaningless. But that doesn't mean Kasumi isn't badly hurt by it.

I really like the subtleties here too. Kasumi only didn't bring Haruyo because she didn't want to keep Aoyama waiting. She still had what Haruyo said on the mind, how lonely and desperate the letter sender must feel. It's tragic she only hurts herself further with how considerate she is (again something she fails to appraise herself for).

And it's impressive how awkwardness and uncertainty underlines their meeting without being too overt. You probably immediately felt it was a mistake not to get Haruyo—it leaves Kasumi vulnerable. Aoyama takes her to a secluded location, similar to Sayori who was much more intimidating at first. It's on-the-edge of breaking the rules yet not quite, maybe a meta metaphor at play. Between Aoyama's glare (which is an uncharacteristically dark panel in a spree of light pages) and the goofy scene of her being embarrassed over the letter your expectations are in flux. And Kasumi's sweetness blinds you before Aoyama drops the other shoe.

I was pretty conflicted on 'That really is some kiddy shit!' It is the 2nd time I've swore in this translation. A more literal TL would be, "You're like a couple of kids playing house!" But Aoyama's language is messy in general (she's a -ssu type) and the abrupt tonal shift demanded something heavy.

Oh and of course there's another letter. We're going all the way back to 1916 with this one.
 
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… oh wow yeah that's a very quick turnaround.

I reckon Aoyama probably just wanted a buddy in the pain above all else, someone who understood the gauntlet she was wrung through by her Yurika-senpai—while Kasumi clearly was trying to get to the bottom of the letter debacle, expecting a kindred spirit since that same letter led her not only to Haruyo, but also to her other 'nice' senpais (not my words) of like-minded, contemporary yuri spirits straight out of the Hanamonogatari playbook.

It probably explained Aoyama's seeming quick change of personalities, given the scars she was implied to carry. She wanted someone to share the burden, but instead found this lovestruck maiden who didn't even inch anywhere close to having sex.

Exciting developments. I'll have my anti-boxcutter spell in the ready just in case.
 
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Other series need character diagramms, we needed letter diagramms!
HSmDHNV.png


Thank you sensei!, good reminder of what we have bene up to so far.

"That really is some kiddy shit"
-Igarashi while drawing the last arc.
"That really is some kiddy shit"
"Ma'am, I feel the need to emphasize that one of us two is a middle schooler...."
 
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My initial read is that Aoyama was effectively assaulted and then coerced into a physical relationship she didn't want by a senpai, that dragged on until that senpai was graduating, and then dropped with zero pretense or warning. A torrential affair that overwhelmed her and then immediately vanished, leaving her confused, hurt, bitter, resentful.

She left the note as instructed, but her heart wasn't in it - as stated, it was "set up for failure", and that's the difference between Aoyama and all the rest we know of: she was directed by a person who seemingly only brought physicality. Every other letter we see has resulted in relationships with emotional bonds at the core--whether those be positive or negative (well...Sayori's an edge case even there I guess)--but Aoyama had none of that, it would seem, or nothing that could be parsed through the sexual components of her own S-Pairing.
And so she has no frame of reference for the sort of outcome that Kasumi experienced with Haruyo.

I almost feel like Aoyama is upset at Kasumi...though not at her specifically, but at the notion that "good things" could come of the Letters and of S Relationships. She's only got her experiences to fall back on, and I think that she's reacting on some level of jealousy or disbelief that Kasumi could be so giddy and in-love over her own pairing.

Aoyama's probably not internalized it, but if I had to guess - she just wanted someone to commiserate with. And Kasumi is the last person able to do that with her, as we know that Kasumi & Haruyo's specific storyline is about as pure and healthy as it can get (Kasumi herself notwithstanding).
Aoyama's experiences with the Letters ended in heartbreak by virtue of there seemingly being no love whatsoever. She's experienced effectively only negative things from this system, in a way that's untrue even for Sayori and Mizuki. She's entirely embittered, and after years of stewing in it all on her own, she finally has someone to talk to, only to see the potential she could have had--right as she herself is about to literally graduate--and I think she reacted to that sense of loss and missed opportunity.

What if she'd written another letter? What if she'd had someone to talk to about her Yurika-senpai? What has she been doing, that others took what caused her such pain and discontent, and it made them smile and gush and look so godsdamned happy?
I hope her story's not done, but given she's about to graduate, I think the most she could hope for is some sense of closure over what was done to her, and to hopefully take the lessons that the likes of Kasumi & Haruyo could impart and carry them forward. Kinda like what Yamabe did--off into the world beyond high school. It wouldn't be with Yurika-senpai, and it might not be with anyone that we get a whole backstory on.

I confess I have not (yet) read the source inspiration, so I don't know if this is meant to faithfully mirror those in its entirety. But Aoyama feels like she might finish her story un-paired. To reduce her to a 'lesson' or 'motif', something like how S Relationships can fail under the strain of incompatibility, or if one is pushed into it rather than lead into it. I'm actually not sure how much "closure" she could get, before she moves beyond this school, though for Kasumi's sake I hope that this situation gets resolved enough that the pain she feels doesn't spread and fester with our Best Main Girl.



Either way, this series continues to delight and illuminate.
And I think this "second swear" kinda works, even if the sense of the scene isn't as heavy as the first. Because in a way, it was--just in an emotional sense from Aoyama's perspective. She was probably convinced over time that S Relationships were temporary, futile things, only to be confronted with the truth that her experience is far from universal, and maybe even the fear that hers was explicitly wrong.
She reacted to that sudden realization, I'd argue, and the weight of importance in that revelation would come through with the sort of charged emotion that elicits profanity. Especially when she went on to almost push herself onto Kasumi--though not with any intent to "follow through" as was done to her--but we see the emotional charge of the scene shift and elevate, but in a way that's actually scary and unnerving for Kasumi and the reader. The tone of it all shifts hard, and it starts right at the point of the word "shit".

Swearing should definitely be used sparingly, but it feels appropriate here because of how much things pivot, and the suddenness of the change from the relative lighthearted and "safe" feelings that precede it.



Anyway thanks as always for the TL work and all the delightful insight that always follows.
 
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I really like aoyama's design. The short haircut with sharp and cold eyes. She's been through it.

There was no need for her to lash out at kasumi for having the opposite experience of her though. God forbid someone is happy when you yourself are miserable. EXCEPT, that is exactly what it's like for aoyama. She's been in so much pain for so long. The pain finally begins to dull and then some innocent dweeb (love kasumi, she's adorable) tears the scar right back open without meaning to.

Aoyama probably wishes she could go back to the days when she was like kasumi. Naive to the sharp edges of the world. It's implied that aoyama was taken advantage of physically. She's so angry that kasumi gets to have a loving relationship without any box cutting or dubious at best consent. Aoyama is a victim of sexual and emotional abuse. Whether she felt raped at the time or only realized later that she was used and wouldn't have consented had she known what her senpai was going to do, will be revealed soon enough.

For a victim to have to hold all that pain in with no one to confide in and then get confirmation for sure that it was abuse is awful. Aoyama seeing that the whole s-class thing doesn't have to be forceful and involve non-con is the final nail in the coffin for her. There is no longer plausible deniability for aoyama that "this is just how s-class is so it couldn't be helped." "This is everyone's experience withi it... right?" No, it's not. It doesn't have to be this cruel system of abuse. It can be sweet and tender. Feel safe and voluntary.

I hate that aoyama hurt the smol munchkin, but I can't hate aoyama when I consider the context. This author loves making me nervous man. I never know when shit is gonna get real 0_0
 
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Get ready to slap that Sexual Violence tag on the series. We're not making it through the next flashback without it.
I expect the same thing. Aoyama definitely faced sexual abuse by her senpai. Even if there was "consent". Chances are high that it was out of fear or aoyama's lack of knowledge about how touch must be preceded by consent. She was a young kid. She doesn't know how anything is supposed to be. She probably didn't have the proper understanding to be able to give INFORMED consent.

Look at her sharp cold eyes. The short hair even though she had long hair in the flashback with her senpai. This kid has suffered through it T_T
 
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Where do you guys get the idea that Aoyama was sexually assaulted? It seems to me she was played by Yurika but that is not sexual assault even if its a scummy thing to do.

Well I'm looking for Yurika senpai, it seems she will be most menhara of them all.
 

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