Hello powliece i Saw grown man kissing middle schooler in basketball court.
Correction "I saw middle schooler kissing man too young to dwink."
For that universe you could also add:
"She pownsed on him, and she doesn't even shawe!"
"Now now kiddo, aren't you too young to be worried about having a slice of man?"
"B-b-but awl da big giwls talk about how dere's not enough men, and and: I WANNA BE A MOMMY WHEN I GWOW UP

!"
just sayin. It's a messed up world. At least it ain't 1:39. That author is starting to look as bad as the author of "rent-a-trash"