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*About the gender thing* Kou identifies as a girl = true At the beginning Nao misgenders Kou because she looks like a guy = true BUT ALSO When Nao corrects himself, Kou panics and TELLS HIM to better not refer to her as female, so Nao and Co stick to referring to her as They/Them, the chapter...

Oh, man, I have the feeling that the reason why her father has such a problem with the age gap isn't the age gap itself, but the fact that Ossan might live less than Haruhi. I mean, he is 4 years younger than her father and her mother is already dead, her father is probably worried of Haruhi...