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Grand Duke: "Dammit, this Fetch Quest has taken five hours already. I'll give it another thirty minutes, then I'm Googling a walkthrough."

Abs Psycho 85

Huh. Is this the first time she's been referred to as his girlfriend?

"Wait, I didn't have to be fused with a bear? I could still be wearing pants?"

I'm kind of stunned that Takiya's plan seems to have worked? That presenting Fafnir as his girlfriend made the Parents go away sooner? Or did it just work that night, and they haven't thought ahead to the romcom shenanigans package they just purchased?

This seems like a bad idea. I mean, she was going to have to reckon with having betrayed her homeland in the war eventually, but making her the feudal lord is probably going to work up unexpected problems -- Because she was probably heralded as a safely-dead local war hero.

Things are about to go all Kilkenny.

"I mean, if you keep killing and cooking your customers, won't you eventually run ouAAAAAARRGGHH!!"

Isn't it typical that the Challenged Party gets to set the terms of the duel? Oh, well. It's her option if she wants to give up that advantage.

Daisy, Daisy. Give me your answer, do. I'm not crazy. I know you hate love, too. It will be an efficient marriage, So do not board that carriage. And you seem sweet. Accept defeat In conspiracy built for two.

And then he takes off his coat to reveal he's cut his back off before he came home, and the screaming begins.

Well, clearly the Heroine is going to decide they slept together, and start up the circumstances that firmly stick the Downfall flag.

The Grandfather has to know about the Inn job. There's no way someone as apparently controlling as he is gives her the option to run off in the night with expensive makeup and potentially embarrass the family even more.

How do you tell if a raccoon is depressed, and who the heck makes antidepressants for raccoons? Bah, it's the SCP foundation. They probably have a vending machine that takes quarter-sized bone coins and dispenses raccoon drugs.

"I use magical powers to defend the Earth against an increasingly ridiculous set of monsters sent by an assortment of Evil Space Queens who are searching for ancient relics or powers, particular humans connected to these ancient relics or powers, or acceptance."

Well, we've got a Reincarnation tag, and it seems fairly obvious who's been reincarnated. Should have played the game more before the truck hit you, I guess.

Croc: "Yeah, that's what I thought, too. I was wrong."

Hm, I'd only ever previously encountered the name "Furfur" as the character attempting to acquire the title of Demon Prince of Rock and Roll in the "Night Music" adventure for Steve Jackson Games' In Nomine RPG. At the time, I'd just assumed they made up the name; I should have looked it up...

Well, it's not our problem anymore. The Outer Dark is vast, and nobody is going to find a single horse in space ten light-years from Earth, and a horse without detailed astronomical knowledge is never going to find Earth again. ...is what I'd say if I lived in a non-SCP universe. It will...

Dubious Food still heals a Quarter Heart.