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If you can't find anyone else, and it's the holdup for releases, I can give things a look over. But I'm really not in a good state to do any serious work.

p11 - "I only anime movies once in a while" p17 - demandd

Where's the mention of artificial insemination? I can't find it even after a re-read. Is that intended for the next chapter, not this one? This is minor but the footnote pages are off by 1 due to the first page being the content warning.

"Turner's first person pronoun is... 'me'?" I think something got lost in translation, there.

p18 - but he's already home. He's not going home.

A dowry is paid by the bride's family to the groom('s family). If money is going from the groom to the bride, that's "bride price"

According to one of the comments on novelupdates, she had no idea what his rank was, and thought he was basically a chump who couldn't advance ranks. Doesn't make it much better, but at least in the novel an attempt was made.

p3 - There's ton of room in the bubble, so there's no need to split "in-sisted" p4 - "it can't quit even if it want to" (beyond tense, should probably be "she", not "it" as well). "it omes around to" p7 - "she got a plan with you" p13 - "I never saw him speak" p30 - "realisezed"

Sugar is 4 kilocalories per gram; fat is 9. If he really wanted a "meal" with a high calorie intake he should have drank a glass of vegetable oil.

My understanding is that she is basically taking money from wherever she can - her sister, orphans, random men - and publicly donating it to the church. This makes her look good and pious. Except she's in cahoots with the priest, so the money she "donates", plus any other donations, are made...

Is the twins' family name "Bluie" (p12) or "Blueye" (p18)? p17 is also missing a space between "Leon" and "Bluie"; also I think that should be something more like "The Bluie family twins, Tigel and Leon"

p30 has the kid's name as Lian instead of Rian. I swear "Rain" was used as well but I can't find it now.

The explanation I've heard for "thin books" is that they're exclusively H, and they're "thin" because they cut out character introductions (especially for existing copyright books) and plot and everything but the lewds - basically porn books that get right into it. I'm certainly not an expert...

How does this even happen?

No idea if it's the same one he was thinking of, but https://mangadex.org/title/186500c1-5916-430f-af3b-ff1bdec99fee/night-tales-from-a-chinese-studio-wang-erxi is a perfect match for that.

p8 - "I was raised in the forest so I know next to nothing about the outside world" "I grew up in the forest and know very little about the outside world". Guessing that's a mistake.

This appears to be chapter 12, not 1.

Bedtop sport for indoor types.

Excellent read. Thank you.

No need to apologize; I was just curious. I figured it wasn't a literal translation, and as you said, the literal translation doesn't really work, so localizing it is the right call.