The whole "I don't want people to judge me by my appearance" logic is faulty, because that's literally how anything with eyes judges well.... everything... that's why there's the "dating" process where you see if you can actually tolerate each other in a long term relationship.
Yes, there're exceptions like everything in life, like starting as acquaintances and then eventually moving on to dating but that doesn't mean you didn't judge each other by your looks first, just that you got to know them better and deemed them worthy of investing your time in them even if the aren't the hottest chick/dude around.
Aaaaaand... automatically failing anyone that approaches you because you somehow fit their fetish is a very immature thing to do, like you're such a saint free of fetishes
Who knows, maybe you can work something out after some talking?