Amayo no Tsuki - Vol. 13 Ch. 51.2 - Silent Listening

[Lorsh]

The root of Saki's unease has always been her internalized homophobia and beating herself up over her clearly sexual desires towards women. She's known she's sexually attracted to women for a long time and somehow internalized it as something "abnormal" and "impure".

"Dark Saki" represents the superego in psychology. It reflects the internalization of cultural rules and everything "authorities" (whether parents, school, friends, TV, media, whatever) have hammered into her brain. It's not something you get rid of on a snap. It obviously takes considerable effort on Saki's part to voice something so deeply buried, to the point of making her cry.

She wants to bare herself to Kanon and dismiss Dark Saki. And that can only be done by laying down all her "secrets". That's just how much she loves Kanon.

It's obviously what Kuzushiro planned all along, since chapter 1 and that's rare enough these days to have a mangaka planning a story for more than 3 volumes in advance.

Ngl even as early as Chapter 7 I knew she was certainly feeling something that was way more than an innocent crush when these are the faces she's pulling after holding her hand. Plus while it's used in a more joking manner, Chapter 2 basically confirms that Saki's mind is kind of in the gutter when it comes to anything that could even be implied as sexual, so it's not unreasonable to assume she felt turned on to some degree even with something as simple as hand holding