While the tl/n's tells me TL has malicious intent and is attempting to troll&flame-bait ppl, I must say I appreciate the translation nonetheless. Particularly that they kept the katakana alongside the honorifics, as I have always looked for an engaging and sustainable way to train my ability to read those alphabets. And many times wished I could get entertaining texts with the jp and the more-jp texts side-by-side like this. Something I normally only see in OP/ED's with karaoke added by the fansubbers.
The tl seems to lack a proper grasp of english grammar tho. ie. "if not just X but also can get Y to do" - page 2, and wth is "Tighten armpits" supposed to mean?
Might want to look into getting an english proofreader so you don't make such fundamental errors.
Besides that, might also have been nice to get some tl-notes for more cultural things, like what is "jigoku nobuto camp-u"? I get that it roughly translates as "serious hell camp", but it really sounds like it is meant to be a reference to something (probably some show?), as it is prefaced with "this is precisely".