Blend-S - Vol. 2 Ch. 17

[MangaDex]

 

[Nolonar]

I think there's been a little translation mistake on the first page.
I was wondering if there's ever been a character that "ties the cafe's uniforms", but she's a character from chapter 13.
Maika found a hentai doujin which is about bondage and girls in uniforms.

 

[HungryIm]

I find your translation to be often inaccurate to the point which I feel like I must point it out. While I'm also not the best translator myself, I'll point out some discrepancies that can affect readers' reading.

Pg.25
"Oh, um...what kind of character are you?" => "Oh, um...who are you?"
"WAIT...ARE YOU THE PERSON WHO TIES THE UNIFORM?! =? "WAIT! IT'S THAT BOOK'S OWNER FROM BEFORE IN OUR UNIFORM!!"

Pg.26
"Sorry for tricking you before" => "Sorry for causing a ruckus before"
"I've been writing a lot, but I'm working on something I have to keep tucked away" => "And, as I realized that I no longer have to hide myself after the book incident..."
"But I feel like things are pretty laid back here..." => "I thought it'd be actually comfortable to work here"
"Laid back?" => "It's comfortable?"

Pg.27
"Ahh...Of course, something would happen after I've been on such a long vacation" => "Oh...Would I be taking too many day offs after all?"

Pg.28
"She's so deep" => "Women are so deep"
"But original market is very intense" => "But writing original stories requires a lot of ideas"
"Oh, so you're here to collect materials for your books?" => "Oh, so you're going to collect the ideas for your stories while working here"
"(...)time with raw high school girls" => "(...)time with actual high school girls"

Pg.29
"That's a new greeting" => "Then, allow me to introduce myself again"
"Sadi..Sadistic? Sadistic?" => "Sadistic vs. Dere? Sadistic AND Dere? Extreme sadistic?"
"Ah...is that one of the attributes our characters should have?" => "Um...What kind of character is that?"
"It's something an onee-san would do" => "She's a big sister type"

Pg.31
"It's because my eye are so bad, isn't it" => "It's because my eyes look mean, isn't it?"
"I'm looking at you right now,(...)" => "Considering your actions,(...)"
"I love Maika-san's natural sadistic character" => "I love Maika-san's pure, yet sadistic character."
"Don't get so down on yourself" => "It's your unique charming point. Don't get so down on yourself"

Pg.32
"Esdere X A really hard guy!" => "Let's go hardcore with Sadistic dere x Hetare(soft, weak-hearted guy)"

While I covered the most of issues I see in your work, I also feel that there are even more minor changes that is needed to make the dialogues sound more natural.

 

[Umeru]

@Hungrylm, thanks for the feedback. This is the first time I've attempted translation to share with others so I appreciate the critique. I've been using this manga translation as a way to practice my Japanese now that I'm out of school, but as I'm sure you can see I'm a bit rusty.

Anyway, I'm planning to put some updates together in the next few hours and will resubmit so you should see that up by tomorrow latest.

Since I am doing this as a one-man team I could really benefit from a proofreader. If you're up to it, I'd be happy to have your help with the process in the future before posting. Just let me know We can connect via my translation email: umeru.translation@gmail.com.

Thanks again!

 

[TheDemocrab]

Esdere is a portmanteau of Esdeath(Akame ga KILL, known for being extremely sadistic and madly in love with Tatsumi)and dere lmao

 

[BakedBanana]

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