Blood on the Tracks - Vol. 1 Ch. 6 - A Smile

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I have two theories about what is going on in this story so far. Firstly, the author has been trying to impart here that Seiichi is perhaps an unreliable narrator. I believe this ties back to the incident with the cat, many years ago. From time to time, what he sees, and thereby what we see, is not necessarily what is actually happening. A clue to this would be that during the time of Shigeru's fall, Seiko was not drenched in so much sweat like she was when Seiichi's world spazzed out and refocused. Seconds before, she was gazing on Seiichi was a serene smile, completely calm. It was weird that his gaze was focused on her chest before he ran off. Did Seiichi's girl friend actually approach him so forwardly? We will see, presumably.

Theory two is that Seiko has been harboring some dislike for Shigeru and his part of the family for some time now, and because she has yandere tendencies, decided to take care of something that had been causing trouble for her beloved Seiichi.

In both cases, the butterflies have significance, as they are often associated with change or transformation: either between was is real and what is not, or that Seiichi's life has now been changed forever. These are only my opinions, and I haven't read beyond this chapter at the time of this post.
 
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I can kinda draw some parallels to my mom- (she's gotten better- as an adult I even have a healthy if limited relationship with her after hating her guts for a long time- mind you, she never tossed a kid off a cliff or did some of the other fucked shit). In that sense, I can kinda get where it's coming from- that, and I've been in a perhaps similar headspace of "I want to get out of here no matter what" (not in some marriage or relationship, more of- family and also bad experiences in the country where I was born) if for vastly different reasons myself.

She's manipulative, abusive, and so on. But it's also a kind of hell to be stuck with "family," or a "partner," or environment that makes you feel like less than dirt. Neither of my parents could become better people or even decent without divorcing and my siblings and I were then- and now- glad for it- in my experience of (somewhat similar) feelings- I could try to be happy, but ultimately would come short other than moments of peace and considered- many things, though ultimately my moral compass brought me towards suicidality instead when things happened.

I can empathize with the mom in that sense- my mom had, coincidentally- when I was 2~, held my sister and I over the side of the balcony and threatened to jump. Shit's fucked, but sometimes it's best to just cut out all of the rotten, poisonous convention and peer pressure and say "fuck it" and leave. Rather than torture yourself, or mentally fuck up your kid, brain damage another and so on.
 
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I can kinda draw some parallels to my mom- (she's gotten better- as an adult I even have a healthy if limited relationship with her after hating her guts for a long time- mind you, she never tossed a kid off a cliff or did some of the other fucked shit). In that sense, I can kinda get where it's coming from- that, and I've been in a perhaps similar headspace of "I want to get out of here no matter what" (not in some marriage or relationship, more of- family and also bad experiences in the country where I was born) if for vastly different reasons myself.

She's manipulative, abusive, and so on. But it's also a kind of hell to be stuck with "family," or a "partner," or environment that makes you feel like less than dirt. Neither of my parents could become better people or even decent without divorcing and my siblings and I were then- and now- glad for it- in my experience of (somewhat similar) feelings- I could try to be happy, but ultimately would come short other than moments of peace and considered- many things, though ultimately my moral compass brought me towards suicidality instead when things happened.

I can empathize with the mom in that sense- my mom had, coincidentally- when I was 2~, held my sister and I over the side of the balcony and threatened to jump. Shit's fucked, but sometimes it's best to just cut out all of the rotten, poisonous convention and peer pressure and say "fuck it" and leave. Rather than torture yourself, or mentally fuck up your kid, brain damage another and so on.
im sorry to hear that and glad youre doing better
 
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I have two theories about what is going on in this story so far. Firstly, the author has been trying to impart here that Seiichi is perhaps an unreliable narrator.
Yup. This chapter heavily stresses the dreamlike & self-contradictory elements of Seichi's perception of Shigeru's fall. So much so that it feels like an all-caps "UNRELIABLE NARRATOR" flag. Though that doesn't exclude the possibility than mom is also a murderous psychopath...
 

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