Blue Archive - Problem Solver 68 Business Diary - Vol. 3 Ch. 14 - 「Presence (Feat. President, Teacher, and more...」

[RMurphy]

Thank you for the TL!!!

 

[DocAquatic]

Thanks for picking this up! The only things that really jumped out to me as proofreading errors are a few times words were pluralized but shouldn't have been (ie, 'that doesn't sounds like being an outlaw' on page 10 or 'why do you have this much paperworks piled up again'. I'd probably have gone with 'why's so much paperwork piled up again' or just 'why do you have so much paperwork piled up')

 

[Omoe]

Thanks for the tl.
Some things that stuck out to me that might be worth considering for future uploads:

• You don't need to 'translate' あら as 'Ara', I know it's become a bit of a trend to do it like that but there's not reason to not translate that to 'Oh my' or something similar to suit the context (personally I'm just not a fan of it)
• Some of the sentences feel a tad awkward to read, for example, pg.8, Sensei says 'I've been waiting for the two of you, Aru and Kayoko'. It's a bit winded, 'Kayoko! Aru! I've been waiting for you!' conveys more or less the same thing with slightly less words - so it flows a bit better. This point's more subjective so how you approach this will vary on a lot of things, just something to keep in mind.
• Grammatical/typesetting errors scattered about;
  • p.g. 1:
    • Drop the comma after "Have", the line just runs across the speech bubble, so there shouldn't be a pause there
    • "Paperwork" shouldn't be plural
  • p.g. 2:
    • "Time today" would be better if they were on the same line, I'm not sure what software you used but try making the border of that text layer slightly wider, the line break is pretty noticeable
  • p.g. 4:
    • "Helper Duty" would work better as simply "Help Duty", or simply "Duty"
  • p.g. 6:
    • "Problem Solver 68", not "86"
    • You've missed an apostrophe in "We'll destroy it~!!" in the last panel
  • p.g. 7:
    • That romaji said by Aru roughly means "Adults are so cool!", you don't need to go through the effort of redrawing all that, a caption somewhere will do
  • p.g. 8:
    • "Sound" in the third panel shouldn't be plural
  • p.g.13:
    • "Device" likely refers to the tablet that gets brought up later. I'm not sure if "Schedule for today" was meant to be something else (might've been referring to Sensei's desk?), but it feels like there's missing context
  • p.g. 17:
    • Might be worth making Sensei's dialogue a tad bit smaller to differentiate it from Kayoko's thoughts
  • p.g. 19:
    • Assuming this 'terminal' is the same thing as the 'device' mentioned in page 13, it should simply be 'tablet' (or whatever it's supposed to be)
    • Kayoko's dialogue should be in past tense; "You didn't have to worry about it, it didn't even count as a mistake"
  • p.g. 23:
    • "Whatever president decided to do" should be in present tense; "decides"
      • Likewise, just shorten the second line to "I'll definitely support"
  • p.g. 24:
    • Error in tense, "You definitely can" rather than "You definitely could"
    • "An excellent employees" should be "the excellent employees"